If I'm Improving...

 It's March...I can't say finally, because I wasn't particularly looking forward to it (if I'm looking forward to anything, it is June 😘) (if you get me?). I can't really think of any clever cliches for this month that commemorate the beginning of Spring (at least where I live) like "April showers bring May flowers" or aaacho! (I have allergies that annoy me in April-specifically the week of my birthday...not the best way to recognize, but it is one way to remember it...) I got it! It is the month that includes St. Patrick's Day, but I recently read something on how fake that holiday is (just a day for Americans to feel Irish), and not a bit of my blood is Irish (if that counts...pinch me) (sorry, but that is a stupid tradition). In other words, I prefer treating that holiday just like any other day, although my older brother, Ty served part of his mission so perhaps I should ask him how to celebrate once the day comes since he actually lived there for a bit. Not that I'm meaning to sell short any birthday that happens to be at the beginning of spring either, because my older sister, Bree, and two of my nieces, Hadley and Claira have birthdays at the beginning of Spring too this month. (Perhaps one of my goals should be looking on the bright side more...) (I personally think that I am just having a difficult time transferring from lethargic February to springy March, please forgive me, it is only March 6th when I am writing this.)

1) Set aside one hour every day to do something creative. I am not acting lethargic, I promise you. This goal is just spring to get me going with writing again in March (kind of like the Energizer Bunny...is that comparison correct?). I recently started a new story in my free-writing that explores ideas that I'm new to, at least in writing about, so I need a friend to a friend. Its setting lay in the future, in the land that used to be America that is called Ruosdilxm. Countries are always taking over countries, and I fear that will happen to humble (ha!) us again sometime in the future. I recently did a study of the Aztecs, which really got me thinking, what if somebody takes over people again taking things that aren't theirs just like we did to them (same thing with the Native Americans, though I didn't look that deeply into who used to inhabit my country in my research) (I know, you don't know where you are going until you know where you have been). So, I am telling a story from the perspective of this new, future country's future ruler, Natasha Skinner, and even though we all dream of an easier future, at least I believe, it isn't any easier for her to rule over a nation becoming more and more rebellious each day. Some of her prisoners (we all are prisoners to humanity when you think about it, Natasha just brings it further) are pretending to side with her, like the mischievous scientist, Amor Cherith plus the person that she overtook, Elijah Peake. So far I only have about one page written down in my writer's notebook but so far, I am seeing lots of potential and different ideas creating themselves off of this idea, that is why I need to be more diligent in developing a free writing time in which I just let ideas flow from pen to page without hesitation. I hope I can, though I love to write, I also have a job and schoolwork which I intend to take care of first. The world would be so much easier if I were more diligent in scheduling each of my days, and still left time for dreaming...wait, I think I have an idea there.

2) Bake two new recipes. Just in case you have been living under a rock for some time, here is a little "me fact": I love baking, or more of I love dreaming (how different can the two ideas be, really?). I love watching the baking channel and continue to dream, though I admit I like the outcome far better on shows like Great British Baking Show than the ones on Nailed It! The most recent thing that I allowed myself to learn was how to bake (or is it make, since there is absolutely no oven involved?) a salad. This recipe I can give to you in a sentence: find vegetables, whoop them together, and add a special dressing or vinaigrette to improve the flavor (I've always been a Ranch girl, myself, but they are several things in my fridge which I have the possibility of trying in the future). True, a salad is a smart meal to prepare if you have to leave in half an hour for your evening shift at work, which I did, but what about if I have time to make something bigger and better? (I make myself laugh.) I'm still dreaming on cloud 9 with this perspective, but you never learn (or know), unless you try something. I have quite a few recipes that I would like to try, that I either saw on television, saw somebody else make (I believe in myself way too much...if that is even possible), or fished from one of my own cookbooks (that I either got from my Bree or my old ward) (okay, they aren't exactly my cookbooks!). Included in this list are a Peppermint Oreo Milkshake, Fruit Cobbler, Pumpkin Banana Bread, and many others (and people say I have a bad memory!). I know, I know, none of those are good, healthy main dishes. You always have to start out with training wheels (unless you are Hadley) when you are learning to ride a bike, so these recipes are my training wheels more of. I have even talked to my fiancee, Michael about this goal (promising him dessert after every meal if he bakes something too). He laughs as he agrees resolutely. A lot of his blood is Italian so he is really good and used to cooking too, maybe he is even better than me (scratch that, I know he is better than me 😋). (I love this picture!)

3) Workout at least three times a week. Maybe I should correct this goal, or had been more specific. Let me explain: I do some yoga almost every day, it helps in the lifelong goal to relax my body but seeing that that goal is already met (at least in part, I'm not dead yet) I'm referring to more physical workouts, like biking, running, or playing a sport, seeing that it is March, the beginning of Spring, and the beginning of the part of the year that is more for outdoor sports. Admittedly, when I was younger, the sports I enjoyed doing the most were sports designed, or played during different seasons. I liked playing basketball with my friends, and basketball is a winter sport (since it is played indoors most often unless you have a basketball hoop set up outside (my family used too, but let's just say it been a while since anyone played with it, or was interested in doing so). Also, when I was younger, I was at the top of my swim lessons class (and no one could mock me for how short I was there, since we were in the water and I knew how to tread water at an early age, so it was kind of like we were the same height, as long as I stayed in the water). This was before I could really get into the sport, or even knew that there was a swim team at my school (thinking about it, I probably wasn't even that good), but life still went on and I received a TBI in my car accident mishap and I forgot everything that I knew about swimming. Before I make myself even more sad, let's talk about something else. The sports are minimal that I can participate in now, but I can still walk, bike, or maybe learn to swim again (I have heard of special lessons for people like me) so I need to keep up and keep happy at least three times a week with these. (Also, on a sort of related note, I am trying to eat no sugar for at least 21 days...with three birthdays coming. Wish me luck!) One of the first dates (I think the third...) Michael and I went on was a walk (me in my Run Across America t-shirt and his that has a joke on it, so this picture sort of applies.)

4) Be noticeably grateful (blog, Instagram about it) four times. I didn't know just how much I needed a goal like this one until today. It is easy to be down in the dumps, counting your problems instead of celebrating them (how deep of a thinker are you?) especially if it is not a month like November...or June (just thinking out loud). Recently, I was challenged to be more grateful than usual and post about it on Instagram or Twitter every day. Since I am not the type of person that posts necessarily every day, I was resolute (or thought I was resolute) in my response of "no." But then, I got the dastardly chance to think about it. I was not pleased with the outcome of the recent election, I still have to work every day, and I have a million other problems (a million, that's why I don't blog about them all that often). I tried to let that thought of "you had a chance to be grateful and you just let it pass you by, for some reason or other" but it kept coming back, for one reason or another. I decided, finally that someone was trying to put their foot down with me (perhaps God) when I looked at ways to prepare for General Conference (coming the first week in April, read all about it here) and included in that list was the simple, yet not so simple at the same time act of being grateful for all that you have. When I read that, I was reminded of my friend's challenge to me of posting what I am grateful for. Since everything happens for a reason, no matter how much I like to pretend that that isn't so, I accept her challenge (sort of). I am going to post one thing that I am grateful for every week on my Instagram. Got to start somewhere, and as long as you are reading this, I put forward that challenge to you also. (As long as we're talking about it, Bible verses help my sense of calm also.)

5) Have a book club meetup at least once. Gosh, this quarantine, am I right or am I right? True now, I am grateful for things that I discovered staying home all the time (slipping slowly into madness...okay, I'm done) that were more than a dead rat under my bed (just an idea, there are no dead rats in my house!). For one, my book club grew into something that I thought was bigger than it ever would or could grow to be. A grain of rice is much larger to some people, and this is my grain of rice. This goal may be a particularly crazy one because as of now, my book club is not made up of members that are even in the same country as me...but some of them are in the same town as me, or just the next town over from mine, so maybe we could do something one night. For one, we could watch that "Spiderwick Chronicles" movie together this month since the book we are reading together happens to be by Holly Black too. I don't know where we would watch it yet. Does anyone have it, because I don't? This goal is still a tadpole, but I am making and writing it anyway. This goal is crazy at this time, but not as crazy as some of Rowling or Beethoven's ideas, and look where they are now? I think too much, but to anyone who would like to know more about it, just look here. ✌

6) Take a calligraphy class. My handwriting is an interesting story, since I don't have that much longer let me summarize it for you. I learned to handwrite the same way as anyone would, I guess. When I was in my elementary school years, I learned where to curve the letters and where to keep them straight and I aced every single worksheet that I was given. But there is more, my primary handwriting lessons occurred while I was right-handed when the left side of my body was injured so the right side didn't work near as well and had to be in a cast near all the time, it was a different story. Now, I had to relearn everything with my non-dominant hand. Not cool. It is just as hard as it sounds, if not harder. My first year back at school after receiving my injury, I had a para help me take notes that I could read. (Hi, Ms. Wible!) Though it was only a year and I'm grateful that I had the help, my handwriting only became a little more legible in that time. I still cross my t's way too close to the top and you can't really tell my c's and my e's apart (sorry, to all my teachers!), but that doesn't mean that I have given up. My mother tells me that the person she knows with the best handwriting is my Aunt Diana (one of her sisters) and that she got it right after taking a class on calligraphy. That is why I found some classes on calligraphy online, to help me improve my natural handwriting. (If Michael happens to be reading this, I still bet my handwriting is worse! 😉)

Fortify February

 It finally happened. We are finally in it. It is February. Are you excited? I am...maybe a little. Now I don't want any offhand comments about it being the shortest month of the year for a reason, or it is the last month of the winter, or any other pleas that you may have about it being the worst month. I am trying to keep a brighter perspective, as I think we all should. Goals such as this one I find to be particularly enlightening. Now I don't expect February to be a dam that is expected to flood over at any moment if I am ungrateful or that starving being that is parched on their last day yet they should have all the sustenance in the world, they just don't know how to use it justifiably, or what comparison have you? I just think being ungrateful, even for the things that are hard to be grateful for, like February, is a quick and sure passageway to doom (or a place that sure feels like it). 

1) Read at least 3 books. In case you don't know me or we haven't had the pleasure of actually meeting yet, here is one vitally important fact about me: I am a bookworm. I have been my whole life, I fear. I enjoy being transported to worlds very different or not all that different from my own by the words on a page. I was the kid in class that always finished the class reads in English class before I was supposed to (in my defense, I couldn't help it; I had to discover Wilbur's fate and hopefully save him (in a way) in Charlotte's Web or readjust what happened to Brian at the end of Hatchet). And, get this, some of my teachers didn't support me in my love of reading...I guess that makes sense because I was the only person in the class that knew what I was supposed to know long before the rest. I guess looking back and hearing it like that, it does make sense because since I knew, I had to be more exclusive in the literary conversations that I could participate in. I can just see me know, wanting to say everything in my colorful reading classroom yet able to say nothing because I knew far too much. Here is a summary: I LOVE to read. You can't stop me. Many have tried (I don't know if I'd say many...), and none have succeeded. I am a fast reader too. (It could be this reason why I beat the rest of the class in our class reading.) Not to say that I do nothing but reading (if only I could...). This is more of the long hand way to say that I am in a book club that reads about one book a month, that goes with the theme of the month (for February, we are reading a romance, need I say more?). Though I love to read, I don't always love the book of choice that I feel that I must read, because of said club. So, I decided to make a goal out of it (and added two other books for kicks and giggles) (I can't help myself). True, I may not enjoy every book that we read, but my book club helps me see into others' viewpoints and opinions, and that is all I am trying to humbly do. (Maybe I should've challenged myself to read four books...)

2) Workout each and every day. Here is another nip-in-the-bud fact about yours truly, I try and work out several times, or more than once a day/. The jury is still out on the statement of whether I like it or not, but it does aid in helping me to relax, oddly. It is a good thing to do if I nothing to do (and I can read or watch a tv show/movie at the same time if I am on the treadmill). Some of my workouts are particular to me, because the right side of my body doesn't work as well as the left side, because I was in a car accident several years ago, but I don't like dwelling on the past (it is a sad story, does that do for an explanation?). Not to complain, I am leaps and bounds away from how disabled my body used to be right after-a few years after the car accident. I am very grateful, but I also know why I may use that statement. I sustained a habit of working out, no matter how tired my body seemed or tight my muscles were. It has been a long journey (and the destination seems to be getting further and further away-I am grateful for how far I have made it still). I also need to figure out how to work out on my very own and learn to be diligent with those workouts too. That is why I create this goal. I can't do anything and expect something to happen, that is unrealistic. I need to learn to work out on my own warrant, kind of like I was the last person on earth, and had no one to blame but myself (and God, but that is a different conversation). If I was the last person on earth, I would still yearn for recovery, that is why I create this goal to learn to work out each and every day. 

3) Get back into the habit of freewriting, Okay, confession time (as if I haven't done much in this post that wasn't confessing, thus far...): books and pens are my lifeblood. In other words, I love to write too! In fact, I am in the process of publishing something I wrote on Amazon as we speak! (Sorry, this goal gets me excited without even trying.) Something just needs to be edited one more time and then I'll be golden and able to publish it through KDP (Kindle Direct Publishing). Now, just in case you have a piece of limited knowledge, this means that it will be on Amazon booklists and in their online stores. And it doesn't stop there (I've done my research). A customer, like you (please tell me it is like you) may order a literal copy in pages and paper format if they choose. I can barely wait until I can hold a literal book in my hands and smell the ink and binding and know that it wouldn't even be there if I hadn't written it. If anything would offer my fortification, this February this would but Rome wasn't built in a day (though just in case any of my readers are hidden writers out there, Amazon does offer an awfully simple, free publishing service that I would highly recommend to any dreamer out there). Also, if you want more information on things like this, you can follow me on Twitter or Pinterest for it (yes, I know that I may have versed that wrong). I had a point...after you get over 300 pages of a story written like me, an author (still dreaming) tends to hit a lull. I fell into this. A bout of writer's block. This was okay for a few days, but then it lasted longer and just became embarrassing. I used to comfort myself by saying that it was because my life was quite an interesting tale and that was all that I needed (I journal, once every week) but then it lasted for longer than was necessary and I had to admit to myself, that I was in, and am in writer's block. It happens to everyone (not all characters that I make are as intriguing as Branson and Cal are), so I don't feel lonely but there has to be a way out of this dark, idealess passageway through random freewriting (the new story has to start somewhere).

4) Bake Valentine's Day cookies for book club. This is also a secret fetish and a secret weakness (well, maybe it's not so secret, at least anymore): I love to cook anything, particularly cookies. Also, I must say that the picture of cookies right beneath this goal and said paragraph were not cookies that were baked by me. When I was thinking of this baking goal for February, I happened to be shopping, and therefore noticing that sugar cookies alone were cheaper than all the ingredients that I would have to buy to make the masterpiece of sweetness that cookies (or muffins, call them what you want) are. Side note: I also HATE spending money. I just had a thought, Michael, if you are reading this, making Valentine's Day cookies could be an activity during a date that we plan on having later this week. I promise to do what I can to help, no matter how much I love the smell of sugar, plus watching you work. 😉 That brings the second thing standing in my way. Ever since this COVID-19 craze hit, my book club has had to do virtual meetups through Zoom, over the internet, or just by posting something on our Facebook page (newly created by me) because we find ourselves at a handicap, and are unable to meet. If you happen to be someone who knows the worse side of COVID-19 and really understands the reason for all the shutdowns, I mean absolutely nothing negative to you. The Facebook page that I recently started for my group has made it do things that I thought it would never do. It reminded me that we're all in this together because some of the club's members are in Utah, Idaho, and even other countries, like Australia (please join so that we may continue the spread...and books are awesome). We can all be one, though we are several miles away from each other. So, I'll be posting what I bake on Facebook, and encourage you to do so too. Also, on a different note (sort of), how many people had to actually learn how to bake because of this pandemic? 

5) Try a new Pinterest project. Most women (and men, now that I think about it) have lost track of time pinning away at delicious treats, outfits, arts, and crafts on Pinterest only to forget about it later. I certainly am guilty. My mind works in an if you want to do it, do it now sort of way and if I don't do it then, I'll forget about it entirely. Not to say that I am lazy, you should see all the things I have sewn, knit, and/or baked throughout my lifetime. I think that my particular issue with this is what makes me human, rather than just the simple fact that I have a bad memory (what was I talking about again?). I think everyone wants to move the world in a good way (at least a good way, it seems, from their perspective), but things like work and school tend to always be getting in their way. I am not saying that the items of work and school are necessarily bad, without them the world would be void of money (everything going to the rooster), determination, and education (I can make a rhyme anytime). I am saying that everyone should have the chance to work on their own dreams because those things could move the world. How do you think Facebook started? It started simply (well, as simply as things can be that start at Harvard). In 2004, a group of friends created a new social media platform with the goal to connect Harvard students through an online community (don't see the movie, I don't like all versions of this story). In other words, it started small, and had no idea how large it could, and did become. That is what I mean, I'll start a dream with a Pinterest project, who knows how large it could become (though I don't gander that it will be anywhere near as big a deal as Facebook is)?

6) Daily flossing. As you most likely already know, I am human and humans make mistakes (all the time, if you happen to be like me). One common mistake that I make is that I commonly forget to floss. My dentist has already talked to me about this; how it weakens my gums and is bad for my oral hygiene, and yet I still commonly forget (nevermind this, I am only human). That is why I make this a goal. I need to dedicate this to my memory better because it is preventative oral care, prevents tartar buildup (that is what it is called, look it up), prevents bad breath, is more effective than brushing alone (darn it), and prevents gum disease (bingo). I know that this should already be a habit, but it isn't. At least I noticed it, and that goals help me sometimes. 

There are the goals that hopefully will help to fortify me this February. What do you think of them, or what are some of your own goals that help to fortify you through the year? I would love to hear them!

Warmth Even In the Cold

 It was a blustery Monday morning when Knave Jackson and Susan Athena “Al” Albone gathered together to finally tie the knot after 12 long years together. Together they finally were with three guests, a pastor, and 12 dogs, they set out into the mysterious tundra for the ceremony.

This one was a love story years in the making. Knave and Al first met in lone Lebanon, Ohio back in 2008.

“And after greeting and conversing for about a month,” said Al over a Zoom interview, “had our first date at a Waffle House in Lebanon, Ohio, and met for coffee, soon to be forgotten, or at least we assumed. I think we ended up actually having a pancake or something.”

Al wasn’t at all shy about her first impressions of Knave.

“I thought he was a bit too classy for me,” she admits.

Knave, on the other hand, admired her right away.

“Well, simply said, I liked her,” said Knave. “I didn’t realize that I was coming off in the way that I was. I was only on my best behavior.”

In June 2020, Knave popped the question. This wasn’t the first time he had asked Al to marry him, which should come as no surprise.

“Well, I gave her a diamond around 2012,” reviewed Knave, in a dream, seemingly. “And Al has never been married, and I’ve been married more than once. And that frightened her, and it probably did the same to me too.”

“He omitted part of the story,” confessed Al. “Between both of my parents, there have been eight marriages. So I’ve had plenty of experience with marriage and divorce myself, you could say. And a pretty repetitive way of judging.”

It wasn’t until the turntable coronavirus pandemic hit that things finally began to change for Knave and Al. Back in April, Al (or Susan, as her nametag read) was working hard as a nurse practitioner in Ohio. Due to the COVID-19 pandemic, Al sorrowfully lost her job. Her job search brought her up to the heights of Alaska, and eventually to Bethel, but the distance was making it harder to create a relationship.

“Even though he’s been supportive of my job, and need to move, and the plans,” Al said. “I think once he got truly lone it all hit home. It’s one thing to be, stuck at home with somebody. It’s another thing to be stuck at home with no one.”

For Knave, the distance and the separation gave him much time to reflect on their relationship. He came to the startling realization that he’d been taking poor Al for granted.

“You do take people for granted sometimes. And it really was a big cry for me how much she really meant to me and how little I showed her how much she meant to me.”

With Al working in Alaska and Knave living alone in Ohio, there seemed to be no end to the distance.

“So we did have several-heart-to-hearts via Zoom or Google Meet. And, you know, when the time came, I finally asked her to marry me again. You know the answer,” Knave said with a grin.

With the pandemic still going strong and the courthouse unfortunately closed, wedding planning took a different spin.

“So yeah, it definitely had an impact,” she said,” but also made him, or forced him to be a little creative.”

Knave wanted to make his marriage memorable, and what is more memorable than getting married on a dog sled?

“It’s one of those special Alaska things,” noted Knave. “And I just, I just said the idea out there to see what she’d say. And she said ‘Yeah, well, okay. If he, if he can pull that off, surprisingly.’”

Knave reached out to the KYUK News Director, Edith Grace Pearson, who contacted Kuskokwim 300 Race Manager Brandon Griffin.

“And then I emailed him, in a bit of a rush, and he was kind of, ‘Well, I don’t know whether anybody really wants to do that, but I’ll send your name out to a few people.’ And fortune struck and Deborah Raskin was one of them.”

Be Yourself this Year

 In case any of you didn't receive any wishes yesterday, or the day before here goes--Happy New Year!!!! 2021 just has to be better than 2020 was, am I right or am I right? (Maybe I should make one of my new year's resolutions looking on the bright side more...because life never really is all that bad (if you would like to read some more of my perspective on that, go here to read the dazzlingly bright perspective that I put up on Facebook) (I will become more humble.)) Anyway, no matter how 2020 happened to go for anyone of y'all, resolutions, or rather, monthly goals are a good way to always keep your eyesight glancing forward in an ever-darkening world. They can be anything. In fact, in the daily notes that I keep at my desk this morning, it held a simple reminder to exercise (possibly with a partner to keep you going), that reminded me that I had yet to make these personal goals. It may be January 2nd, but better late than never. 

1) 30 days of yoga- Okay, I admit that this particular goal might be a bit of an old hat, but I suggest this goal to anyone and everyone, even if you happen to suppose that you don't need it. I made this goal sometime last year too, and I discovered that my body needed to chill (that is one way to say relax) more than I had previously supposed. The type of yoga or yoga workouts that I do can be found on YouTube on the channel called YogaWithAdriene (I might have already started this one yesterday, this morning on a precise day that she puts out new videos on how to find your zen or namaste). Since there is someone else out there, on my team, persay, she is currently putting out videos in a particular series called "Breath" I encourage anyone to join me on that journey, because I am learning very quickly that I can learn a thing or two about that certain activity that brings me a life that I didn't know before (don't know unless you try). Maybe I am just a yogi, like Adriene in my dreams (curiously tight body) (look at my last post), but I also know that I am not alone by a group that I recently joined full of people just like me, wanting to relax, but not sure where to start. Also, I add, that by cause of the quarantine, this group is in fact virtual it is an app, called FWG Kula (if you happen to be as in need of relaxation as I am). I don't wish to sell myself short at all by setting this goal, yoga is already a regular part of my life, or at least I try to make it. Everyone must learn how to relax and this is one of the ways that I do (including weekly massages from Jeff) (hi Jeff!), though it is awfully easy to forget, or maybe I hit the alarm in my life way too much and thereby, allow myself to become stressed. If I set a goal, I find important, vital activities easier to accomplish (why I tell you about it, reader; I trust that you will keep me in check-deal?). So, here goes. (Also, this is called "doggie yoga".)

2) Explore two new places-I don't know exactly why, but ever since I moved over to Rexburg for a bit, I have found myself exploring new places which I haven't traversed to before, like Craters of the Moon (little place that is here on earth), or maybe it was a lifelong deal. Ever since I was young, watching and learning bits and pieces of my primary Spanish education from Dora the Explorer and her friend, Boots. In fact, ever since I don't know how long I don't know, my Uncle Will, on my mother's side has been on trips around the world (taking sometimes his nieces and/or nephews with him). I have been to the pyramid of Sun and Moon in Teotihuacan, Mexico City, Mexico with my parents because of him. (Mexico City is one of the largest cities in the world and I was so hot that close to the equator and have very fair skin (not always a good thing), but I would go again if money weren't an object...) Yes, though it would be awful nice to travel above and beyond all my dreams of the world, a few things make that a bit difficult, like the price, plus the fact that we are all currently in quarantine. That is why I mentioned places like Craters of the Moon near the beginning of this item on the list, there are probably places in my hometown that I have never heard of too...Do you guys have any suggestions? I need something to inspire. (I currently live in Loveland, CO, in Northern Colorado, if you wish for a wider expanse.) It is only the world that is at my feet. 

3) Start a capsule wardrobe-What is a capsule wardrobe? For those of you out there that remain with this inquiry, allow me to enlighten you. A capsule wardrobe is a common (or uncommon...I guess I am in the dark a bit too) practice of editing your wardrobe down to your favorite clothes (clothes that fit your body and lifestyle right now), remixing them regularly, and shopping less often (making your eyes smaller in stores) and more intentionally. It is a type of shopping that reminds me of shopping with my mother when I was younger. She always brought a list. I do the same thing whenever I happen to go grocery shopping for myself, but I could learn a thing or two when I am simply on a spree. I went to the store today with no list, trusting my memory alone, forgetting that there was such thing as Amazon Prime (I'm about overdue for a free item) (overdue, like a library--get it?), wait, I was talking about clothing, wasn't I? (Speaking of sprees.) I need to get into the habit of looking over everything, clothes and the like, to get something of a capsule wardrobe started and not buy things that I honestly don't actually need. I think I can do that.

4) Go to at least one movie with friend(s) this month-Though the complete quarantine complaints are for a different post than this, you don't want to get me going, I will admit that I am suffering or have suffered a bit from cabin fever in the time since that they told me that I couldn't do anything or go anywhere (these blog posts do help a bit, but I can't tell you're reading as I sit there typing before my lonely computer--before I draw out on sorrowful thoughts more than is needed, because it still is a great life, thank you). Recently though, the movie theater was opened again, and this is a double positive for me since I love going to the movies and my furlough was able to end since that is where I work currently. Also, first things first, there are always good movies that are coming, or already have come out during this part of the year. If you happen to be in NoCo and need a movie, tell me about it. I would be happy to bring a friend (also, the theater could be my idea for where my next book club meeting to be at...if any of my mates happen to be reading this) (I know it is an oxymoron, but movies tell a story in the same way that books do (just whole lot more visual...let me get back to you on that comparison)). I need the reminder that I have more than one or two friends in the mass of this Colorado Quarantine (all jokes aside), same as everyone else. Although, we are in quarantine, strictly speaking (I am honest), we did recently open some places like movie theaters as long as the customer brings a mask to wear when they are out in the open (anywhere), and not eating something that we still provide and sell like popcorn. So, friend, how about a movie? (You can respond to this post or otherwise please if you happen to know exactly how to contact me.) Afterall, "all the world's a stage" (or theater) as our friend, William Shakespeare put it in his play, As You Like It.  (And I also offer that the movie that we watch doesn't have to be this scary...)

5) Try one new baking recipe-As you most likely well-know, I love baking shows. They may not be football games, but they still have a competition of sorts...and who knows? They are inspiring to me, personally. Though I don't make mocks of what I may see on their tables that often, I do know that someday I will have to bake for myself all the time, so I need to learn how to prep and bake some items that are not cookies or make my stomach growl in that way. I want to progress my baking knowledge all the way...perhaps not to one of the competitive baking show's table, but I must learn how to bake all dishes for my future family (I'm not always dreaming on cloud 9), whether it is the lasagna that I used to make in Young Women's (though I fear it has been too long) (thank goodness for written recipes!), chicken noodle soup in the winter (I am currently cold, so it is on the mind), or perhaps even the holiday feasts intended for extended family too. I have my arrow aimed and I am just about ready to let go of my strand, ever the optimistic. I only need a little bit more help. Though the house I live in has a plentiful cookbook in the kitchen, I am still wondering. Do you happen to have any recipes which you think I should try, should you be so bold as to suggest them to me? 😉 Would you please do it in some format of reply to this particular post if you do have them. I sure would be appreciative. To top this off, I would like to post something that made me laugh-

Along with some recipes...

That will just about make up my goals for January this year. What do you think of them? (Mocks, insults, I'm up for anything if we may be of differing perspectives.) Or maybe if you would like to go deeper, what are some of your goals? If you would be willing to share, I would love to hear them. 

There is Always a Bright Side

 I believe that this life was not made to be easy, and isn't for anyone. I know that that that sure does not have a positive side sometimes, but I believe and have optimism in the idea that it is that way for everyone. Whether it be a serious injury that someone is enduring, an essay that someone is stumped on that could hold the key to the other side of their life, or just a down day, life sure can seem bad or even miserable. It is easy to trip or fall down for a day, or the rest of one's life, but they don't have to. I know that one may live a life that is putrid, negative, and not good, but they may hold optimism on that ideal too. I have a foundation in the idea of being optimistic. I believe that a life that is terrible, can be terrific too, for anyone.

December 6, 2008, three sisters' lives changed forever. They were on their way to Kohl's as if it were any other normal winter day. They were going to the store, and then to their older brother's basketball game, like any odd or ordinary Friday. The sun was beautiful, doing its duty, melting the snow. Spring was coming, they knew. They were optimistic in their life. The two younger sisters, who were 10 and 11, always arguing over who would get the front seat of the car, next to their older, 16-year-old sister, because they swore they were older than they actually were. It was the 11-year-old's turn. The sun was perfect during that one simple turn that turned everything, way too quick. The oldest sister was blinded by the sun's glare and didn't spot another car that was making the turn with them. Crash. The green Grand Am collapsed over the 11-year-old, knocking both her and the driver out, making them both appear dead, at least what you could see of them. The youngest sister started hyperventilating immediately. She didn't know what to do. Luckily, the angels were watching all three of them that day, as the person who saw the unlucky situation called 911, and they all lived. The two oldest suffered from some brain damage, the middle daughter who sat right where they got hit is still recovering. They all survived, and are getting better each day. 

I was that middle daughter, who wished she was older than she was. That day, my life changed forever. A car ran over me, but the angels were watching over me that day. I didn't break a single bone, amazingly. None of my sisters did. All of us weren't held back a single year in school, even though we spent a fair amount of time in the hospital. I was in a medication-induced coma, and couldn't do much. When I woke up, I had to relearn to do almost everything again. I even had to change the hand that I grew up writing with, my right hand to my left hand. Everything changed from right to left side, and my right side is still recovering, and getting used to the small or large moves it used to make every day. I have every reason in the world to give up, but even now, though the years have been long and are only getting longer, I don't. I am optimistic (or at least I am trying to be). 

I would be lying if I said this injury, plus all the treatments I have had, didn't make me look different. They did in more ways than they have made me gain a limp that had been awfully hard to recover from. My right arm went through a Greens Transfer, where they moved around some things in my body, to make it easier for me to move my right thumb and wrist. That treatment left my arm with a few scars, that were only fun to show my friends and classmates for a time. The TBI that I received even made it hard to smile straight for a while. The left side of my mouth was always just a little further up when I try. That can be a burden at times, because of the way it makes me look, but I try to be optimistic. At least I can still smile. 

The car accident greatly affected things like sports that I could play. I couldn't run anymore with my limp, or do anything with the ball with my right hand, or foot. I could do barely anything extreme without injuring my right side. I never was really that athletic, even before the accident, but you don't know how much you appreciate something until it is taken away. The car accident tried to knock me down, but there was no way that I was staying there. Instead, I did a new sport. I learned how to ride horses at Hearts&Horses Therapeutic Riding Center. The idea was that if I learned how to control the horse, I could learn how to control my body again. Indeed, it helped, especially in how the different horses had different mindsets; some were loyal and obedient, while others were stubborn and a real case. Even that helped me, in that I was reminded that every person was different too. Everyone was different, including me, and that wasn't a bad thing. Nothing in life is bad unless you make it so. 

"You can't progress any further. It is pretty likely that this will be as far as you will go." Though I love them and have a great deal to be thankful for, I hate it when my doctors or therapists tell me this. I learned quickly (after a few years) that they can say this if they want to, but it is up to me to decide whether or not to believe them. I can believe what they may say about my physical limitations or abilities, or I can believe in myself. (Just ask my wonderful current therapist, I do a stretch for longer than I am supposed to, because they are comfortable to me, or make me feel normal (which is a different type of tightness...for another day).) ("Put your arm down, Brooke! We are done with that one.") Even my past therapist that I used to smirk at (on purpose) knew what they were in for when they told me that I couldn't do much more and my glance made the response, "Just watch me." Look out world! Here I come, with a fully functioning body once more. No matter how they may try, no one can sputter out my optimism. 

And so, I joyfully write. Nothing can keep me down. No matter if anyone or anything changes my life unexpectantly, you take away a certain sport I can play. Try to hold me back with words, thinking that is enough. I will always come back for more. I am optimistic about everything. No one can take the world from me, there is always something else. Just look at your trials from a different angle, and regret nothing. 

Even you can't keep me down. The world has tried plenty of times before, none of the attempts were successful. 

What brings me closer to God?

 I am in a fairly serious study of prayer and how we each call upon our God for help, comfort, aid, and thanks. I have had a moderately hard week this week, so I needed this. This post is for anyone like me, struggling too much, need help, or perhaps not. This is for you.

Overview

Each of us is a child of God. He loves us and is all-knowing. Though there is this, He also would like for us to communicate them through prayer. We should pray to Him, and only Him. His Son, the Lord Jesus Christ commanded, 

"Ye must always pray unto the Father in my name." (3 Nephi 18: 19) 

As this habit of approaching God in prayer is made, we will come to know Him more personally and draw nearer unto Him. Our desires will even become more like His. We will be able to make secure for ourselves other blessings that He will be ready to give, we need only ask in faith.

Principles of Prayer

Our God is always ready to answer the desires of our prayers. The power of them though depends on us. As we strive to make daily prayer a part, or habit, is each of our lives, we should each remember this counsel:

Add meaning to prayer. Only you can do this. In the Book of Mormon, the prophet Mormon warned that if anyone "shall pray and not with real intent of the heart...it shall profiteth him nothing for God receiveth none such" (Moroni 7: 9).

To make our prayers have more meaning, we must pray with fair sincerity and "with all the energy of heart" (Moroni 7: 48).

We must take care, and not hold any "vair repetitions" while in the midst of prayer (see Matthew 6:7).

We should use language that shows love, closeness, respect, and reverence. The duty of this principle will vary, according to which language you may apply to (or to with it...) Let me illustrate, if we pray in English (my language), we should use the pronouns of the scripture whenever we address God--Thee, Thine, Thou, and Thy, rather than the more commonly heard pronouns of you, yours, and your (are you with me still?). No matter if you speak a different language than I do, the principle remains the same: When praying, one should use the words that appropriately convey a loving, worshipful relation with our Father in Heaven.

No matter how many wants, desires, or even needs come to one's heart while the converse with God, one should always give thanks to God. We should

"live is thanksgiving daily, for the many mercies and blessings which we doth bestow upon (us)" (Alma 34: 38).

As we each take the time to remember all the blessings which God has bestowed upon us, we will recognize that it really is two-fold (or three-fold, or what have you). No matter what, we should express our thanks for that to Him.

Seek God's guidance and strength in all that we do. Just like Alma counseled to his son, Helaman on day:

"Cry unto God for all thy support; yea, let all thy doings be unto the Lord, and whithersoever thou goest let it be in the Lord; yea, let all thy thought be directed unto the Lord; yea, let all the affections be placed upon the Lord forever. Counsel with the Lord in all thy doings, and he will direct thee for good; yea, when thou liest down at night lie down unto the Lord, that he may watch over you in your sleep; and when thou risest in the morning let thy heart be full of thanks unto God; and if ye do these things ye shall be lifted up at the last day" (Alma 37: 36-37; see also Alma 34: 17-26).

Don't pray selfishly. Remember the care and mercy on others while you pray too. All should offer their prayers

"for (our) welfare, and also for the welfare of those who are around (us)" (Alma 34: 27).

We should ask for Heavenly Father's love and comfort to come to others in need, not solely our own burdens. 

Seek the guidance of the Spirit so that you may know precisely who to include in each of your prayers. The Holy Ghost is able to teach us to pray and guide in the things that we say alone (see Romans 8: 26, 2 Nephi 32: 8, 3 Nephi 19: 9, 24). He can aid us in praying

"according to the will of God" (Doctrine&Covenants 46: 30).

When a request is made through the holy order of prayer, that is not all that is needed. You must do all that you can to assist in it being granted. God expects more from all beside a humble question. When we each have an important decision to make, He often requires that we "study it out in our mind" before He gives us an answer (see Doctrine&Covenants 9: 7-8). Our personal prayers for that guidance will only be effective as far as our efforts to be receptive to the whisperings of the Holy Spirit. Our prayers for our own personal welfare plus the welfare of others will be in vain if we

"turn away the needy, and the naked, and visit not the sick and afflicted, and impart of your substance, if ye have, to those who stand in need." (Alma 34: 28).

If a difficult task is before us, our God and Heavenly Father is pleased when we fall to our knees and ask for help before getting up on our feet to work. He will aid us in each of our righteous pursuits, but He will seldom do something for us if we can do it ourselves.

Personal Prayer

In His Sermon on the Mount, Jesus Christ guided,

"Enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut the door, pray to the Father which is in secret; and thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly" (Matthew 6: 6).

Personal, private prayer is a highly essential and necessary part of spiritual development. 

For starters (and enders), one should find a place free from distractions and kneel in humility and commune with our Heavenly Father every morning and night. Although sometimes there is a need to pray silently, we should make a conscious effort at times to pray vocally (see Doctrine&Covenants 19: 28; 20: 51).

Prayer is a two-way communication. As we finish up our prayers, we should each make time to pause and listen for an answer. At times, our answers from God will come while we are on our knees, intended to counsel, comfort, or guide.

We should never ever give into the idea that it is even possible to become unworthy to pray. This idea is a temptation from Satan, who wants to convince us that we must not, or can not pray (see 2 Nephi 32: 8). If we are discouraged by this feeling ever, it just means that we need to pray harder. Pray until we feel like praying.

The Savior commanded,

"Pray always, that ye may come off conqueror; yea, that ye may conquer Satan, and that you may escape the hands of the servants of Satan that do uphold his work" (Doctrine&Covenants 10: 5).

Even though we cannot be continuously on our knees, always offering a personal prayer, we can still draw up our hearts to God continually. Every day, we may have a feeling of continual love for Heavenly Father and His Son, Jesus Christ. We may silently express the gratitude we hold to Heavenly Father and ask Him for strength. In times with constant temptation or actual physical danger, we can mutely ask for His help. He will always help the faithful. 

Family Prayer

Also, with His commandment to us to pray in private, the Savior exhorted us to pray with our families. 

"Pray is your families unto the Father, always in my name, that your wives and your children may be blessed" (3 Nephi 18: 21).

We should each make family prayer a repeated habit in a family's life. Every morning and evening, we should all kneel together in humility, giving each family member a consistent chance to pray and uniting in the present gratitude for the blessings which Heavenly Father has given us. There should also be a unity of faith to ask graciously for the blessings which we need and the humble prayer for others.

By regular family prayer, the family members will each draw nearer to God and each other. Children will learn to communicate with their Father in Heaven. Better preparation to serve others and withstand temptation will come. The home will become a place of spiritual strength or rather, a refuge from the evil influences present in the world/

Public Prayer

At times, we each may be asked to make a public prayer in a place like a Church meeting or class. When one is asked this, I implore them to remember that they are communicating with Heavenly Father (not giving a public sermon). The last thing that should be worried about in this case is what others may think of what you may say. Instead, offer a simple, heartfelt prayer by the guidance and power of the Spirit.

Receiving Answers to Prayer

The Savior counseled,

"Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you; for every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened" (Matthew 7: 7-8).

To the Nephites, He said,

"Whatsoever ye shall ask the Father in my name, which is right, believing that ye shall receive, behold it shall be given unto you" (3 Nephi 18: 20)

Heavenly Father does in fact hear each of our prayers. He may not always answer as we would expect or prefer, but He does answer--in His own time plus according to His own will. He knows what is best for us (despite what we may think). Sometimes he answers no, even when our prayers, or rather petitions are sincere.

Prayers are answered in a multitude of ways, often through the still, small voice of the Holy Ghost. They may even come through the kind acts of others around us. But they do come. As we continue drawing nearer to God through the power of prayer, we will each recognize His merciful and wise answers to our pleading question (call it what you want, I call it pleading). We will find indeed through time that He is our "refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble" (Psalm 46: 1).

https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/manual/gospel-topics/prayer?lang=eng 

What brings me closer to God?

-Scriptures

-Rest

-The Sabbath

-Friends

-Family

-Michael 💓

-Education

-Lack of overthinking

-New beginnings

-Goals

-Easter

-Sacrament

-Baptism

-Agency

-Self-Control

-Thankfulness

-Redemption

-Christ

-Time

-Prophets, seers, revelators

-Pondering

-Responsibility

-Love

-Everything! 

Any of my readers out there have anything to add to my list or any comment at all? I would love to hear it!

Why do I need this?

This year was especially hard, there is no doubting that. Whether it was the lack of a job for the sake of a shutdown, you had nowhere to go (same reason), or perhaps you actually suffered from the COVID-19 disease or you knew someone that did (my heart goes out to you if that is/was the case). Sometimes life knocks you down or keeps knocking you down, but you must never fail to get back up again (what is that Batman quote again?). Personally, this year taught me many good and important lessons, such as the one in goal-setting which I would like to highlight at this moment. Maybe it is just the way that my mind works, but I would like this entry to be a final huzzah for the sparkling (whether that is annoying or not for you) year of 2020. It is one of the positive, good things that I learned, personally. (What are some examples of what you learned, or were taught in the bustling year of 2020? I'm always up for learning new things with which to improve myself.

1) Create at least one handmade gift (maybe for yourself!). -This one is a bit far-reaching for me, but I am not scared...maybe a little, but I refuse to let that simple truth stop me. Let me explain, close to ten years ago, I was in a car accident (that ironically took place in the month of December-not that that is anything which I am able to smile upon!), and that said accident damaged my brain, or in other words, gave me a TBI. In said TBI I was given a lot of gifts that year that I never ever would or could ask for...like ever. Never ever ever. (Don't ever wish for something when you have no idea just what you happen to be wishing for (just an extra thought)) Let me paint you a picture of what precisely I mean if you will. Before that fateful day that I sat at the point of impact in a car accident, I used to dream big (at least bigger than I do now)-then...BAM! CRASH! Everything changed. Not that I am trying to count all the things in my life which people should feel sorry for me for (in fact, please don't), its just that anybody will scarcely understand the reasoning behind this goal unless I tell them the whole story (are you with me still, Sherlock?). Before that drastic day that that horrible, unfair accident occurred (gee, it sure is hard to end on a light note once I get started...), I was quite the crafty little wizard (or witch...), in fact, I knitted several members of my family little hats and/or scarves because it was fun. Now, don't misunderstand. Yes, I did in fact knit, just not with needles, it was with a Knifty Knitter II (I didn't even have the first one) that I received either because I made the most sales at a school fundraiser, or maybe I got it for Christmas, or perhaps I just begged my mother and I was successful...I don't know honestly (remember this, I don't have the best memory 😜) (Also, the weird thing about it is I think it was specifically built for people like handicapped me, but everything is harder for handicapped me.) (As one of my high school English teachers told the class often, "Life sucks, then you die.") I had a point...though knitting is a bit more difficult for one like me, that doesn't mean that I back down from a challenge ever. In my years since the car accident, I have knit (is it knit or knitted?) myself a fuzzy blue scarf and one of my nieces's a cute, pink hat (hi, Paige and family!), like I said, I don't back down from a challenge (even if it is a Rib Knit Scarf...). Not scared!

2) Send Christmas cards. -As you probably know by now, I do love sending out cards in an old-fashioned way, and not only to my brothers when they were on their mission to Madagascar or Scotland/Ireland (or maybe you happened to be one of my friends that received postage while you were on your mission to some other location). In fact, I have created some friends out of writing them notes using paper and ink before sticking them in a mailbox with the flag placed up. It's time to admit it-I love talking to people! I think that is actually the real reason why I started a blog...so here are some Christmasy thoughts to help brighten you day, if I may...

You're super nice. Want to know how I know? Guy in a big, red suit told me.

You know those commercials where the present is a brand new car with a big, red bow? Yeah, we're not doing that. (Only something arguably better in these thoughts!)

Home is where the Christmas cookies and presents are!

The 12 Days of Christmas guy really had a thing with birds, huh? Let's hope you don't know anyone crazy enough to give you 23 birds this holiday season. 🐦

Nobody loves Christmas more than me, and I love you even more than Christmas...or at least it's close. 😉

...or I will accept humming, at the very least (if you happen to be like me "gulp").

3) Look at/Make money plans for 2021. -Maybe I get too antsy about my cash and how much I have...but the way that I see it, you can either be drowning in debt or chilling in the sunny surf if you make, and keep to your money plans. My money plans of yesteryear, and all the years before that, used to be very simple. They were mostly "let somebody else buy it" or "don't ever want anything ever" but seeing as my first time living away from home was recent, while I took on-campus schooling this year, I found that those old hats don't always work with the modern-day apps like Venmo, or kindness (have you heard of it?) creating a flow of cash no matter what, and it isn't always people sending you money, sometimes it is the other way around, which is why I need to have better money plans for the year of 2021 to make the world go round. (I don't care what you have heard, but money does make the world go round, sadly.) (It's a sad fact of life, that I try not to look on too much...how am I doing?) There is a pattern that I plan to follow to help me in my money plans for the new year. First, I plan to record my expenses, not forgetting anything (even if it is the ice cream, or say, hot chocolate that I really needed after a long day at work. I pass the ice cream shop every day traveling to and from work...not my fault.). Next, I need to practice or pay more attention to how I am budgeting my cash. I learned the science of it years ago but could use the reminder.  Personally, I think we all could use the reminder in ordeals like this one, whether we happen to be one of the people like me who has an unlucky memory or not. Thirdly, I plan to cut my expenses. All in all, I plan to become better at asking myself if I really do need an item before honestly answering. I say this as I am sitting in socks that I bought yesterday that I didn't need...my socks of shame. Next, I need to set savings goals and stick better to them. I need short-term (1-3 years) and long term (4+ years), I also need to not give up with just one try (but I feel I am already wearing the duns cap with that one). Lastly, (and I personally think that this segment just might be the best of them all...either that or I really love watching cash grow-Who doesn't?) I need to learn how to make saving automatic. This has had its good and bad days. I remember after I received my very first paycheck, I went right over to the store and bought a big journal (right after paying my tithing), since then I have learned that once you spend money, there is no way of getting it back (in my defense, I was 11 years old when I bought the journal...that is still drifting, not completely filled, in the back of my closet). In other words, when you receive money SAVE SAVE SAVE! You never know how much more you are going to get.

 

4) Film a video for YouTube. -This is in no way discrediting the fact that I have horrible stage fright because I still do and will most likely forever. Here are my thoughts though, I think that YouTube videos create more of a positive boost for those of us out there with this stage fright issue, because if I'm being honest, it isn't the performing that frightens me (in all likelihood, I practiced it more than a million times and could perform it blind-folded...in fact, I would rather do that, because the thing that really gets me on edge is the cavernous auditorium). YouTube, there is no cavernous auditorium, at least in my case, there is only a chance to make a really cool video. No pressure...or rather, low pressure. Just don't let me think about it too much. I am actually doing this to participate in the #LightTheWorld challenge that my church is doing this Christmas, which is why I am going to post the link to the video here, Facebook, and Instagram once it is complete. No fear. I just want to remind you all what (or rather who) Christmas is truly about. (Please come again, I need an audience.) (Wow, That was the confidence boost that I needed.) Thinking about this, not to say that I have any future in the musical industry (I'm not even sure if the video that I will post will apply to music, I just know that it will be all about Christ, the One which we are truly celebrating as our Messiah and Redeemer on the 25th), artists like Lindsey Stirling and Justin Bieber first got their initial start on YouTube (though they perform vastly different types of music). You don't know unless you try. I'm ready...or at least I plan to be in a few days. Please come again by the end of the week/month. I want to reach out to as many people as I can, no matter how nervous I am. (I know.) 

5) Instacart for someone high-risk. -First, let me explain if you were like me when you first heard of the prospect of this goal (What is Instacart? Huh?). Instacart happens to be a grocery delivery service intended for people who are in a high-risk situation. After hearing that, I couldn't keep myself from downloading this particular app. There is always someone out there that has it worse than you, I don't care how bad you have it. If times are the worst for you too (as it currently is for me), service and charity are sure medications that can be applied. They can help us to find the peace within, in other words (I apologize if this is hitting any sensitive areas with any of you). I truthfully to try at helping anyone out whenever I can, but I also happen to know that I, or rather, we can always do better. (Don't.) This idea of service should be enough to present the idea to one and all, but just in case not, after you complete your shopping for someone else, you will be recompensed (I think even more than is necessary...though I am not sure) (I need to research this more). 

There is my December or my final month of the year goals. What do you think? What are your goals? How has your mind progressed in the year 2020? Are you really looking forward to any intended second chances that will come in the next year? Why? Why do you need this? (Want me to keep going?...I've got plenty. 😋)