Warmth Even In the Cold

 It was a blustery Monday morning when Knave Jackson and Susan Athena “Al” Albone gathered together to finally tie the knot after 12 long years together. Together they finally were with three guests, a pastor, and 12 dogs, they set out into the mysterious tundra for the ceremony.

This one was a love story years in the making. Knave and Al first met in lone Lebanon, Ohio back in 2008.

“And after greeting and conversing for about a month,” said Al over a Zoom interview, “had our first date at a Waffle House in Lebanon, Ohio, and met for coffee, soon to be forgotten, or at least we assumed. I think we ended up actually having a pancake or something.”

Al wasn’t at all shy about her first impressions of Knave.

“I thought he was a bit too classy for me,” she admits.

Knave, on the other hand, admired her right away.

“Well, simply said, I liked her,” said Knave. “I didn’t realize that I was coming off in the way that I was. I was only on my best behavior.”

In June 2020, Knave popped the question. This wasn’t the first time he had asked Al to marry him, which should come as no surprise.

“Well, I gave her a diamond around 2012,” reviewed Knave, in a dream, seemingly. “And Al has never been married, and I’ve been married more than once. And that frightened her, and it probably did the same to me too.”

“He omitted part of the story,” confessed Al. “Between both of my parents, there have been eight marriages. So I’ve had plenty of experience with marriage and divorce myself, you could say. And a pretty repetitive way of judging.”

It wasn’t until the turntable coronavirus pandemic hit that things finally began to change for Knave and Al. Back in April, Al (or Susan, as her nametag read) was working hard as a nurse practitioner in Ohio. Due to the COVID-19 pandemic, Al sorrowfully lost her job. Her job search brought her up to the heights of Alaska, and eventually to Bethel, but the distance was making it harder to create a relationship.

“Even though he’s been supportive of my job, and need to move, and the plans,” Al said. “I think once he got truly lone it all hit home. It’s one thing to be, stuck at home with somebody. It’s another thing to be stuck at home with no one.”

For Knave, the distance and the separation gave him much time to reflect on their relationship. He came to the startling realization that he’d been taking poor Al for granted.

“You do take people for granted sometimes. And it really was a big cry for me how much she really meant to me and how little I showed her how much she meant to me.”

With Al working in Alaska and Knave living alone in Ohio, there seemed to be no end to the distance.

“So we did have several-heart-to-hearts via Zoom or Google Meet. And, you know, when the time came, I finally asked her to marry me again. You know the answer,” Knave said with a grin.

With the pandemic still going strong and the courthouse unfortunately closed, wedding planning took a different spin.

“So yeah, it definitely had an impact,” she said,” but also made him, or forced him to be a little creative.”

Knave wanted to make his marriage memorable, and what is more memorable than getting married on a dog sled?

“It’s one of those special Alaska things,” noted Knave. “And I just, I just said the idea out there to see what she’d say. And she said ‘Yeah, well, okay. If he, if he can pull that off, surprisingly.’”

Knave reached out to the KYUK News Director, Edith Grace Pearson, who contacted Kuskokwim 300 Race Manager Brandon Griffin.

“And then I emailed him, in a bit of a rush, and he was kind of, ‘Well, I don’t know whether anybody really wants to do that, but I’ll send your name out to a few people.’ And fortune struck and Deborah Raskin was one of them.”

Be Yourself this Year

 In case any of you didn't receive any wishes yesterday, or the day before here goes--Happy New Year!!!! 2021 just has to be better than 2020 was, am I right or am I right? (Maybe I should make one of my new year's resolutions looking on the bright side more...because life never really is all that bad (if you would like to read some more of my perspective on that, go here to read the dazzlingly bright perspective that I put up on Facebook) (I will become more humble.)) Anyway, no matter how 2020 happened to go for anyone of y'all, resolutions, or rather, monthly goals are a good way to always keep your eyesight glancing forward in an ever-darkening world. They can be anything. In fact, in the daily notes that I keep at my desk this morning, it held a simple reminder to exercise (possibly with a partner to keep you going), that reminded me that I had yet to make these personal goals. It may be January 2nd, but better late than never. 

1) 30 days of yoga- Okay, I admit that this particular goal might be a bit of an old hat, but I suggest this goal to anyone and everyone, even if you happen to suppose that you don't need it. I made this goal sometime last year too, and I discovered that my body needed to chill (that is one way to say relax) more than I had previously supposed. The type of yoga or yoga workouts that I do can be found on YouTube on the channel called YogaWithAdriene (I might have already started this one yesterday, this morning on a precise day that she puts out new videos on how to find your zen or namaste). Since there is someone else out there, on my team, persay, she is currently putting out videos in a particular series called "Breath" I encourage anyone to join me on that journey, because I am learning very quickly that I can learn a thing or two about that certain activity that brings me a life that I didn't know before (don't know unless you try). Maybe I am just a yogi, like Adriene in my dreams (curiously tight body) (look at my last post), but I also know that I am not alone by a group that I recently joined full of people just like me, wanting to relax, but not sure where to start. Also, I add, that by cause of the quarantine, this group is in fact virtual it is an app, called FWG Kula (if you happen to be as in need of relaxation as I am). I don't wish to sell myself short at all by setting this goal, yoga is already a regular part of my life, or at least I try to make it. Everyone must learn how to relax and this is one of the ways that I do (including weekly massages from Jeff) (hi Jeff!), though it is awfully easy to forget, or maybe I hit the alarm in my life way too much and thereby, allow myself to become stressed. If I set a goal, I find important, vital activities easier to accomplish (why I tell you about it, reader; I trust that you will keep me in check-deal?). So, here goes. (Also, this is called "doggie yoga".)

2) Explore two new places-I don't know exactly why, but ever since I moved over to Rexburg for a bit, I have found myself exploring new places which I haven't traversed to before, like Craters of the Moon (little place that is here on earth), or maybe it was a lifelong deal. Ever since I was young, watching and learning bits and pieces of my primary Spanish education from Dora the Explorer and her friend, Boots. In fact, ever since I don't know how long I don't know, my Uncle Will, on my mother's side has been on trips around the world (taking sometimes his nieces and/or nephews with him). I have been to the pyramid of Sun and Moon in Teotihuacan, Mexico City, Mexico with my parents because of him. (Mexico City is one of the largest cities in the world and I was so hot that close to the equator and have very fair skin (not always a good thing), but I would go again if money weren't an object...) Yes, though it would be awful nice to travel above and beyond all my dreams of the world, a few things make that a bit difficult, like the price, plus the fact that we are all currently in quarantine. That is why I mentioned places like Craters of the Moon near the beginning of this item on the list, there are probably places in my hometown that I have never heard of too...Do you guys have any suggestions? I need something to inspire. (I currently live in Loveland, CO, in Northern Colorado, if you wish for a wider expanse.) It is only the world that is at my feet. 

3) Start a capsule wardrobe-What is a capsule wardrobe? For those of you out there that remain with this inquiry, allow me to enlighten you. A capsule wardrobe is a common (or uncommon...I guess I am in the dark a bit too) practice of editing your wardrobe down to your favorite clothes (clothes that fit your body and lifestyle right now), remixing them regularly, and shopping less often (making your eyes smaller in stores) and more intentionally. It is a type of shopping that reminds me of shopping with my mother when I was younger. She always brought a list. I do the same thing whenever I happen to go grocery shopping for myself, but I could learn a thing or two when I am simply on a spree. I went to the store today with no list, trusting my memory alone, forgetting that there was such thing as Amazon Prime (I'm about overdue for a free item) (overdue, like a library--get it?), wait, I was talking about clothing, wasn't I? (Speaking of sprees.) I need to get into the habit of looking over everything, clothes and the like, to get something of a capsule wardrobe started and not buy things that I honestly don't actually need. I think I can do that.

4) Go to at least one movie with friend(s) this month-Though the complete quarantine complaints are for a different post than this, you don't want to get me going, I will admit that I am suffering or have suffered a bit from cabin fever in the time since that they told me that I couldn't do anything or go anywhere (these blog posts do help a bit, but I can't tell you're reading as I sit there typing before my lonely computer--before I draw out on sorrowful thoughts more than is needed, because it still is a great life, thank you). Recently though, the movie theater was opened again, and this is a double positive for me since I love going to the movies and my furlough was able to end since that is where I work currently. Also, first things first, there are always good movies that are coming, or already have come out during this part of the year. If you happen to be in NoCo and need a movie, tell me about it. I would be happy to bring a friend (also, the theater could be my idea for where my next book club meeting to be at...if any of my mates happen to be reading this) (I know it is an oxymoron, but movies tell a story in the same way that books do (just whole lot more visual...let me get back to you on that comparison)). I need the reminder that I have more than one or two friends in the mass of this Colorado Quarantine (all jokes aside), same as everyone else. Although, we are in quarantine, strictly speaking (I am honest), we did recently open some places like movie theaters as long as the customer brings a mask to wear when they are out in the open (anywhere), and not eating something that we still provide and sell like popcorn. So, friend, how about a movie? (You can respond to this post or otherwise please if you happen to know exactly how to contact me.) Afterall, "all the world's a stage" (or theater) as our friend, William Shakespeare put it in his play, As You Like It.  (And I also offer that the movie that we watch doesn't have to be this scary...)

5) Try one new baking recipe-As you most likely well-know, I love baking shows. They may not be football games, but they still have a competition of sorts...and who knows? They are inspiring to me, personally. Though I don't make mocks of what I may see on their tables that often, I do know that someday I will have to bake for myself all the time, so I need to learn how to prep and bake some items that are not cookies or make my stomach growl in that way. I want to progress my baking knowledge all the way...perhaps not to one of the competitive baking show's table, but I must learn how to bake all dishes for my future family (I'm not always dreaming on cloud 9), whether it is the lasagna that I used to make in Young Women's (though I fear it has been too long) (thank goodness for written recipes!), chicken noodle soup in the winter (I am currently cold, so it is on the mind), or perhaps even the holiday feasts intended for extended family too. I have my arrow aimed and I am just about ready to let go of my strand, ever the optimistic. I only need a little bit more help. Though the house I live in has a plentiful cookbook in the kitchen, I am still wondering. Do you happen to have any recipes which you think I should try, should you be so bold as to suggest them to me? 😉 Would you please do it in some format of reply to this particular post if you do have them. I sure would be appreciative. To top this off, I would like to post something that made me laugh-

Along with some recipes...

That will just about make up my goals for January this year. What do you think of them? (Mocks, insults, I'm up for anything if we may be of differing perspectives.) Or maybe if you would like to go deeper, what are some of your goals? If you would be willing to share, I would love to hear them. 

There is Always a Bright Side

 I believe that this life was not made to be easy, and isn't for anyone. I know that that that sure does not have a positive side sometimes, but I believe and have optimism in the idea that it is that way for everyone. Whether it be a serious injury that someone is enduring, an essay that someone is stumped on that could hold the key to the other side of their life, or just a down day, life sure can seem bad or even miserable. It is easy to trip or fall down for a day, or the rest of one's life, but they don't have to. I know that one may live a life that is putrid, negative, and not good, but they may hold optimism on that ideal too. I have a foundation in the idea of being optimistic. I believe that a life that is terrible, can be terrific too, for anyone.

December 6, 2008, three sisters' lives changed forever. They were on their way to Kohl's as if it were any other normal winter day. They were going to the store, and then to their older brother's basketball game, like any odd or ordinary Friday. The sun was beautiful, doing its duty, melting the snow. Spring was coming, they knew. They were optimistic in their life. The two younger sisters, who were 10 and 11, always arguing over who would get the front seat of the car, next to their older, 16-year-old sister, because they swore they were older than they actually were. It was the 11-year-old's turn. The sun was perfect during that one simple turn that turned everything, way too quick. The oldest sister was blinded by the sun's glare and didn't spot another car that was making the turn with them. Crash. The green Grand Am collapsed over the 11-year-old, knocking both her and the driver out, making them both appear dead, at least what you could see of them. The youngest sister started hyperventilating immediately. She didn't know what to do. Luckily, the angels were watching all three of them that day, as the person who saw the unlucky situation called 911, and they all lived. The two oldest suffered from some brain damage, the middle daughter who sat right where they got hit is still recovering. They all survived, and are getting better each day. 

I was that middle daughter, who wished she was older than she was. That day, my life changed forever. A car ran over me, but the angels were watching over me that day. I didn't break a single bone, amazingly. None of my sisters did. All of us weren't held back a single year in school, even though we spent a fair amount of time in the hospital. I was in a medication-induced coma, and couldn't do much. When I woke up, I had to relearn to do almost everything again. I even had to change the hand that I grew up writing with, my right hand to my left hand. Everything changed from right to left side, and my right side is still recovering, and getting used to the small or large moves it used to make every day. I have every reason in the world to give up, but even now, though the years have been long and are only getting longer, I don't. I am optimistic (or at least I am trying to be). 

I would be lying if I said this injury, plus all the treatments I have had, didn't make me look different. They did in more ways than they have made me gain a limp that had been awfully hard to recover from. My right arm went through a Greens Transfer, where they moved around some things in my body, to make it easier for me to move my right thumb and wrist. That treatment left my arm with a few scars, that were only fun to show my friends and classmates for a time. The TBI that I received even made it hard to smile straight for a while. The left side of my mouth was always just a little further up when I try. That can be a burden at times, because of the way it makes me look, but I try to be optimistic. At least I can still smile. 

The car accident greatly affected things like sports that I could play. I couldn't run anymore with my limp, or do anything with the ball with my right hand, or foot. I could do barely anything extreme without injuring my right side. I never was really that athletic, even before the accident, but you don't know how much you appreciate something until it is taken away. The car accident tried to knock me down, but there was no way that I was staying there. Instead, I did a new sport. I learned how to ride horses at Hearts&Horses Therapeutic Riding Center. The idea was that if I learned how to control the horse, I could learn how to control my body again. Indeed, it helped, especially in how the different horses had different mindsets; some were loyal and obedient, while others were stubborn and a real case. Even that helped me, in that I was reminded that every person was different too. Everyone was different, including me, and that wasn't a bad thing. Nothing in life is bad unless you make it so. 

"You can't progress any further. It is pretty likely that this will be as far as you will go." Though I love them and have a great deal to be thankful for, I hate it when my doctors or therapists tell me this. I learned quickly (after a few years) that they can say this if they want to, but it is up to me to decide whether or not to believe them. I can believe what they may say about my physical limitations or abilities, or I can believe in myself. (Just ask my wonderful current therapist, I do a stretch for longer than I am supposed to, because they are comfortable to me, or make me feel normal (which is a different type of tightness...for another day).) ("Put your arm down, Brooke! We are done with that one.") Even my past therapist that I used to smirk at (on purpose) knew what they were in for when they told me that I couldn't do much more and my glance made the response, "Just watch me." Look out world! Here I come, with a fully functioning body once more. No matter how they may try, no one can sputter out my optimism. 

And so, I joyfully write. Nothing can keep me down. No matter if anyone or anything changes my life unexpectantly, you take away a certain sport I can play. Try to hold me back with words, thinking that is enough. I will always come back for more. I am optimistic about everything. No one can take the world from me, there is always something else. Just look at your trials from a different angle, and regret nothing. 

Even you can't keep me down. The world has tried plenty of times before, none of the attempts were successful. 

What brings me closer to God?

 I am in a fairly serious study of prayer and how we each call upon our God for help, comfort, aid, and thanks. I have had a moderately hard week this week, so I needed this. This post is for anyone like me, struggling too much, need help, or perhaps not. This is for you.

Overview

Each of us is a child of God. He loves us and is all-knowing. Though there is this, He also would like for us to communicate them through prayer. We should pray to Him, and only Him. His Son, the Lord Jesus Christ commanded, 

"Ye must always pray unto the Father in my name." (3 Nephi 18: 19) 

As this habit of approaching God in prayer is made, we will come to know Him more personally and draw nearer unto Him. Our desires will even become more like His. We will be able to make secure for ourselves other blessings that He will be ready to give, we need only ask in faith.

Principles of Prayer

Our God is always ready to answer the desires of our prayers. The power of them though depends on us. As we strive to make daily prayer a part, or habit, is each of our lives, we should each remember this counsel:

Add meaning to prayer. Only you can do this. In the Book of Mormon, the prophet Mormon warned that if anyone "shall pray and not with real intent of the heart...it shall profiteth him nothing for God receiveth none such" (Moroni 7: 9).

To make our prayers have more meaning, we must pray with fair sincerity and "with all the energy of heart" (Moroni 7: 48).

We must take care, and not hold any "vair repetitions" while in the midst of prayer (see Matthew 6:7).

We should use language that shows love, closeness, respect, and reverence. The duty of this principle will vary, according to which language you may apply to (or to with it...) Let me illustrate, if we pray in English (my language), we should use the pronouns of the scripture whenever we address God--Thee, Thine, Thou, and Thy, rather than the more commonly heard pronouns of you, yours, and your (are you with me still?). No matter if you speak a different language than I do, the principle remains the same: When praying, one should use the words that appropriately convey a loving, worshipful relation with our Father in Heaven.

No matter how many wants, desires, or even needs come to one's heart while the converse with God, one should always give thanks to God. We should

"live is thanksgiving daily, for the many mercies and blessings which we doth bestow upon (us)" (Alma 34: 38).

As we each take the time to remember all the blessings which God has bestowed upon us, we will recognize that it really is two-fold (or three-fold, or what have you). No matter what, we should express our thanks for that to Him.

Seek God's guidance and strength in all that we do. Just like Alma counseled to his son, Helaman on day:

"Cry unto God for all thy support; yea, let all thy doings be unto the Lord, and whithersoever thou goest let it be in the Lord; yea, let all thy thought be directed unto the Lord; yea, let all the affections be placed upon the Lord forever. Counsel with the Lord in all thy doings, and he will direct thee for good; yea, when thou liest down at night lie down unto the Lord, that he may watch over you in your sleep; and when thou risest in the morning let thy heart be full of thanks unto God; and if ye do these things ye shall be lifted up at the last day" (Alma 37: 36-37; see also Alma 34: 17-26).

Don't pray selfishly. Remember the care and mercy on others while you pray too. All should offer their prayers

"for (our) welfare, and also for the welfare of those who are around (us)" (Alma 34: 27).

We should ask for Heavenly Father's love and comfort to come to others in need, not solely our own burdens. 

Seek the guidance of the Spirit so that you may know precisely who to include in each of your prayers. The Holy Ghost is able to teach us to pray and guide in the things that we say alone (see Romans 8: 26, 2 Nephi 32: 8, 3 Nephi 19: 9, 24). He can aid us in praying

"according to the will of God" (Doctrine&Covenants 46: 30).

When a request is made through the holy order of prayer, that is not all that is needed. You must do all that you can to assist in it being granted. God expects more from all beside a humble question. When we each have an important decision to make, He often requires that we "study it out in our mind" before He gives us an answer (see Doctrine&Covenants 9: 7-8). Our personal prayers for that guidance will only be effective as far as our efforts to be receptive to the whisperings of the Holy Spirit. Our prayers for our own personal welfare plus the welfare of others will be in vain if we

"turn away the needy, and the naked, and visit not the sick and afflicted, and impart of your substance, if ye have, to those who stand in need." (Alma 34: 28).

If a difficult task is before us, our God and Heavenly Father is pleased when we fall to our knees and ask for help before getting up on our feet to work. He will aid us in each of our righteous pursuits, but He will seldom do something for us if we can do it ourselves.

Personal Prayer

In His Sermon on the Mount, Jesus Christ guided,

"Enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut the door, pray to the Father which is in secret; and thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly" (Matthew 6: 6).

Personal, private prayer is a highly essential and necessary part of spiritual development. 

For starters (and enders), one should find a place free from distractions and kneel in humility and commune with our Heavenly Father every morning and night. Although sometimes there is a need to pray silently, we should make a conscious effort at times to pray vocally (see Doctrine&Covenants 19: 28; 20: 51).

Prayer is a two-way communication. As we finish up our prayers, we should each make time to pause and listen for an answer. At times, our answers from God will come while we are on our knees, intended to counsel, comfort, or guide.

We should never ever give into the idea that it is even possible to become unworthy to pray. This idea is a temptation from Satan, who wants to convince us that we must not, or can not pray (see 2 Nephi 32: 8). If we are discouraged by this feeling ever, it just means that we need to pray harder. Pray until we feel like praying.

The Savior commanded,

"Pray always, that ye may come off conqueror; yea, that ye may conquer Satan, and that you may escape the hands of the servants of Satan that do uphold his work" (Doctrine&Covenants 10: 5).

Even though we cannot be continuously on our knees, always offering a personal prayer, we can still draw up our hearts to God continually. Every day, we may have a feeling of continual love for Heavenly Father and His Son, Jesus Christ. We may silently express the gratitude we hold to Heavenly Father and ask Him for strength. In times with constant temptation or actual physical danger, we can mutely ask for His help. He will always help the faithful. 

Family Prayer

Also, with His commandment to us to pray in private, the Savior exhorted us to pray with our families. 

"Pray is your families unto the Father, always in my name, that your wives and your children may be blessed" (3 Nephi 18: 21).

We should each make family prayer a repeated habit in a family's life. Every morning and evening, we should all kneel together in humility, giving each family member a consistent chance to pray and uniting in the present gratitude for the blessings which Heavenly Father has given us. There should also be a unity of faith to ask graciously for the blessings which we need and the humble prayer for others.

By regular family prayer, the family members will each draw nearer to God and each other. Children will learn to communicate with their Father in Heaven. Better preparation to serve others and withstand temptation will come. The home will become a place of spiritual strength or rather, a refuge from the evil influences present in the world/

Public Prayer

At times, we each may be asked to make a public prayer in a place like a Church meeting or class. When one is asked this, I implore them to remember that they are communicating with Heavenly Father (not giving a public sermon). The last thing that should be worried about in this case is what others may think of what you may say. Instead, offer a simple, heartfelt prayer by the guidance and power of the Spirit.

Receiving Answers to Prayer

The Savior counseled,

"Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you; for every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened" (Matthew 7: 7-8).

To the Nephites, He said,

"Whatsoever ye shall ask the Father in my name, which is right, believing that ye shall receive, behold it shall be given unto you" (3 Nephi 18: 20)

Heavenly Father does in fact hear each of our prayers. He may not always answer as we would expect or prefer, but He does answer--in His own time plus according to His own will. He knows what is best for us (despite what we may think). Sometimes he answers no, even when our prayers, or rather petitions are sincere.

Prayers are answered in a multitude of ways, often through the still, small voice of the Holy Ghost. They may even come through the kind acts of others around us. But they do come. As we continue drawing nearer to God through the power of prayer, we will each recognize His merciful and wise answers to our pleading question (call it what you want, I call it pleading). We will find indeed through time that He is our "refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble" (Psalm 46: 1).

https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/manual/gospel-topics/prayer?lang=eng 

What brings me closer to God?

-Scriptures

-Rest

-The Sabbath

-Friends

-Family

-Michael 💓

-Education

-Lack of overthinking

-New beginnings

-Goals

-Easter

-Sacrament

-Baptism

-Agency

-Self-Control

-Thankfulness

-Redemption

-Christ

-Time

-Prophets, seers, revelators

-Pondering

-Responsibility

-Love

-Everything! 

Any of my readers out there have anything to add to my list or any comment at all? I would love to hear it!

Why do I need this?

This year was especially hard, there is no doubting that. Whether it was the lack of a job for the sake of a shutdown, you had nowhere to go (same reason), or perhaps you actually suffered from the COVID-19 disease or you knew someone that did (my heart goes out to you if that is/was the case). Sometimes life knocks you down or keeps knocking you down, but you must never fail to get back up again (what is that Batman quote again?). Personally, this year taught me many good and important lessons, such as the one in goal-setting which I would like to highlight at this moment. Maybe it is just the way that my mind works, but I would like this entry to be a final huzzah for the sparkling (whether that is annoying or not for you) year of 2020. It is one of the positive, good things that I learned, personally. (What are some examples of what you learned, or were taught in the bustling year of 2020? I'm always up for learning new things with which to improve myself.

1) Create at least one handmade gift (maybe for yourself!). -This one is a bit far-reaching for me, but I am not scared...maybe a little, but I refuse to let that simple truth stop me. Let me explain, close to ten years ago, I was in a car accident (that ironically took place in the month of December-not that that is anything which I am able to smile upon!), and that said accident damaged my brain, or in other words, gave me a TBI. In said TBI I was given a lot of gifts that year that I never ever would or could ask for...like ever. Never ever ever. (Don't ever wish for something when you have no idea just what you happen to be wishing for (just an extra thought)) Let me paint you a picture of what precisely I mean if you will. Before that fateful day that I sat at the point of impact in a car accident, I used to dream big (at least bigger than I do now)-then...BAM! CRASH! Everything changed. Not that I am trying to count all the things in my life which people should feel sorry for me for (in fact, please don't), its just that anybody will scarcely understand the reasoning behind this goal unless I tell them the whole story (are you with me still, Sherlock?). Before that drastic day that that horrible, unfair accident occurred (gee, it sure is hard to end on a light note once I get started...), I was quite the crafty little wizard (or witch...), in fact, I knitted several members of my family little hats and/or scarves because it was fun. Now, don't misunderstand. Yes, I did in fact knit, just not with needles, it was with a Knifty Knitter II (I didn't even have the first one) that I received either because I made the most sales at a school fundraiser, or maybe I got it for Christmas, or perhaps I just begged my mother and I was successful...I don't know honestly (remember this, I don't have the best memory 😜) (Also, the weird thing about it is I think it was specifically built for people like handicapped me, but everything is harder for handicapped me.) (As one of my high school English teachers told the class often, "Life sucks, then you die.") I had a point...though knitting is a bit more difficult for one like me, that doesn't mean that I back down from a challenge ever. In my years since the car accident, I have knit (is it knit or knitted?) myself a fuzzy blue scarf and one of my nieces's a cute, pink hat (hi, Paige and family!), like I said, I don't back down from a challenge (even if it is a Rib Knit Scarf...). Not scared!

2) Send Christmas cards. -As you probably know by now, I do love sending out cards in an old-fashioned way, and not only to my brothers when they were on their mission to Madagascar or Scotland/Ireland (or maybe you happened to be one of my friends that received postage while you were on your mission to some other location). In fact, I have created some friends out of writing them notes using paper and ink before sticking them in a mailbox with the flag placed up. It's time to admit it-I love talking to people! I think that is actually the real reason why I started a blog...so here are some Christmasy thoughts to help brighten you day, if I may...

You're super nice. Want to know how I know? Guy in a big, red suit told me.

You know those commercials where the present is a brand new car with a big, red bow? Yeah, we're not doing that. (Only something arguably better in these thoughts!)

Home is where the Christmas cookies and presents are!

The 12 Days of Christmas guy really had a thing with birds, huh? Let's hope you don't know anyone crazy enough to give you 23 birds this holiday season. 🐦

Nobody loves Christmas more than me, and I love you even more than Christmas...or at least it's close. 😉

...or I will accept humming, at the very least (if you happen to be like me "gulp").

3) Look at/Make money plans for 2021. -Maybe I get too antsy about my cash and how much I have...but the way that I see it, you can either be drowning in debt or chilling in the sunny surf if you make, and keep to your money plans. My money plans of yesteryear, and all the years before that, used to be very simple. They were mostly "let somebody else buy it" or "don't ever want anything ever" but seeing as my first time living away from home was recent, while I took on-campus schooling this year, I found that those old hats don't always work with the modern-day apps like Venmo, or kindness (have you heard of it?) creating a flow of cash no matter what, and it isn't always people sending you money, sometimes it is the other way around, which is why I need to have better money plans for the year of 2021 to make the world go round. (I don't care what you have heard, but money does make the world go round, sadly.) (It's a sad fact of life, that I try not to look on too much...how am I doing?) There is a pattern that I plan to follow to help me in my money plans for the new year. First, I plan to record my expenses, not forgetting anything (even if it is the ice cream, or say, hot chocolate that I really needed after a long day at work. I pass the ice cream shop every day traveling to and from work...not my fault.). Next, I need to practice or pay more attention to how I am budgeting my cash. I learned the science of it years ago but could use the reminder.  Personally, I think we all could use the reminder in ordeals like this one, whether we happen to be one of the people like me who has an unlucky memory or not. Thirdly, I plan to cut my expenses. All in all, I plan to become better at asking myself if I really do need an item before honestly answering. I say this as I am sitting in socks that I bought yesterday that I didn't need...my socks of shame. Next, I need to set savings goals and stick better to them. I need short-term (1-3 years) and long term (4+ years), I also need to not give up with just one try (but I feel I am already wearing the duns cap with that one). Lastly, (and I personally think that this segment just might be the best of them all...either that or I really love watching cash grow-Who doesn't?) I need to learn how to make saving automatic. This has had its good and bad days. I remember after I received my very first paycheck, I went right over to the store and bought a big journal (right after paying my tithing), since then I have learned that once you spend money, there is no way of getting it back (in my defense, I was 11 years old when I bought the journal...that is still drifting, not completely filled, in the back of my closet). In other words, when you receive money SAVE SAVE SAVE! You never know how much more you are going to get.

 

4) Film a video for YouTube. -This is in no way discrediting the fact that I have horrible stage fright because I still do and will most likely forever. Here are my thoughts though, I think that YouTube videos create more of a positive boost for those of us out there with this stage fright issue, because if I'm being honest, it isn't the performing that frightens me (in all likelihood, I practiced it more than a million times and could perform it blind-folded...in fact, I would rather do that, because the thing that really gets me on edge is the cavernous auditorium). YouTube, there is no cavernous auditorium, at least in my case, there is only a chance to make a really cool video. No pressure...or rather, low pressure. Just don't let me think about it too much. I am actually doing this to participate in the #LightTheWorld challenge that my church is doing this Christmas, which is why I am going to post the link to the video here, Facebook, and Instagram once it is complete. No fear. I just want to remind you all what (or rather who) Christmas is truly about. (Please come again, I need an audience.) (Wow, That was the confidence boost that I needed.) Thinking about this, not to say that I have any future in the musical industry (I'm not even sure if the video that I will post will apply to music, I just know that it will be all about Christ, the One which we are truly celebrating as our Messiah and Redeemer on the 25th), artists like Lindsey Stirling and Justin Bieber first got their initial start on YouTube (though they perform vastly different types of music). You don't know unless you try. I'm ready...or at least I plan to be in a few days. Please come again by the end of the week/month. I want to reach out to as many people as I can, no matter how nervous I am. (I know.) 

5) Instacart for someone high-risk. -First, let me explain if you were like me when you first heard of the prospect of this goal (What is Instacart? Huh?). Instacart happens to be a grocery delivery service intended for people who are in a high-risk situation. After hearing that, I couldn't keep myself from downloading this particular app. There is always someone out there that has it worse than you, I don't care how bad you have it. If times are the worst for you too (as it currently is for me), service and charity are sure medications that can be applied. They can help us to find the peace within, in other words (I apologize if this is hitting any sensitive areas with any of you). I truthfully to try at helping anyone out whenever I can, but I also happen to know that I, or rather, we can always do better. (Don't.) This idea of service should be enough to present the idea to one and all, but just in case not, after you complete your shopping for someone else, you will be recompensed (I think even more than is necessary...though I am not sure) (I need to research this more). 

There is my December or my final month of the year goals. What do you think? What are your goals? How has your mind progressed in the year 2020? Are you really looking forward to any intended second chances that will come in the next year? Why? Why do you need this? (Want me to keep going?...I've got plenty. 😋)

Thankful for Second Chances

Hello November! There are a lot of spread thoughts about this month, or at least I know that I have them personally.  It may be said, or seen as the clock on the hall (how much longer until Christmas again? You have your reasons, I have mine.) (how much longer is the world, or at least what seems like it, going to be stuck in quarantine?), it may be seen as just another month, or it may be seen as a time to be especially grateful for some things (seeing Turkey Day and all). I for one, prefer the grateful way of looking at this 11th month of the year. I am thankful for second chances (or third, or the millionth, or what have you?). As I was reading my scriptures this morning, Mormon 8:1-22, I was struck soundly by some of the things that I read. I am looking particularly at the examples that Mormon and Moroni left for us this week in the Book of Mormon. They both had to deal with being alone in a wicked world. Even though things seemed hopeless, Moroni found a sound hope in his testimony of the Savior and also in his knowledge that "the eternal purposes of the Lord shall roll on" (Mormon 8: 22). These two examples are an inspiration to me, because now that we do have his words, and the Lord's mission is rolling forth, partially because Mormon and Moroni stayed true to their mission, plus duty, even when they were alone. That is why I am thankful for second chances, and I set goals like these ones (at least in part). 

1) Learn to make one thing you've never made before, and share it with the people you love. First, I would like to clarify the inserted picture. It is trauma when you bite into a chocolate chip cookie and it's oatmeal raisin, except if it happens to be one of my grandma Gardner's oatmeal raisin cookies (made with love). Seriously, they are the best! This goal is especially deep. I plan to make Swedish ginger snaps today, as part of what was intended to be a family home evening activity, and to honor the fact that my grandma Whittle is half-Swedish. I love finding out things about my heritage like this. I have even been told that I look Swedish before (just so there is no misunderstanding, this is not the first time that I have heard of this heritage, true blood (not vampire) fact). I have always enjoyed looking into my heritage and the stories that came before me. For that reason, the ginger snaps aren't going to be the only thing I make, and Swedish food isn't going to be the only country that I explore the culinary items of either. I am planning to make some Danish, Scottish, or even English dishes this month (in case you didn't know--my last name, Gardner, happens to be English). I think this goal honors how much I love cooking, and exploring the culinary arts even more (plus, you know, heritage). I want to know more than my father saying that his grandma Alda made the very best lemon meringue pie. I want to actually make the dish, or something similar to it. 

2) Correspond with pen pals. I have always enjoyed some types of writing. (Help me! I am weak.) I like to-no love to write stories, poetry, blog posts, and letters to certain people. Now I don't mean the modern-day, cheap, email-letters (though I loved receiving those from my older brothers while they were on their missions to Madagascar, Scotland/Ireland...apparently it takes a longer time for pencil and pad letters to make it oversea, or even to a different state (my dad served in Chicago, Illinois) (I don't judge. Honest.), I mean the pen, envelope, mailbox, literal delivery letters (although I admit that since I am left-handed, my handwriting isn't the easiest thing to read at times, it all had my arm swept across it). Pen pals are a huge suggestion of mine. I think that everyone could use a friend sometimes, especially at a time in which it might be hard to receive a friend, or harder than usual, and a pen pal is a good way to start. In fact, in a letter project that I participated in some time ago, I am still connected to them through the letters that we write each other. They are the reason that I create goals like these, because they are my pen pals. I don't claim everything, because initially, we all were strangers, but I'm just saying, a letter can be a good start to a beautiful friendship, or maybe...love, how would you like another letter from me?

3) Find and use healthy coping methods. In case you don't know me that well, anything involving books (like in the above picture), is a coping method that I commonly use all the time. I suggest this, or any personal coping method to all, especially now, seeing that it is Election Day when I am writing this. Take, for one, the previous examples which I used of Mormon and Moroni (if you haven't read the Book of Mormon, I very strongly suggest it). They were alone in their beliefs but held an unfailing, sustainable hope that their words might help those of future generations, and I know that they help me. Sometimes, I feel all alone in my opinions and viewpoints but am reminded that I am not, especially on days such as election day. Though there tends to be a ton of conflict, at least I know that is a fact with this election, there is always hope, and always more than one person like you, especially in the democracy of America. (Vote! You don't know what it could change.) Take me in my political opinion for one, I know that both of my next-door neighbors are voting for a different candidate than I, but that doesn't mean in any way that I am less neighborly towards them. If you happen to have a similar problem, I suggest these coping methods--exercise, humor, spirituality, or reading. We all live in the same troublesome world anyway. 

 

4) Volunteer at multiple organizations. It could be said that this coincides with the first of my goals, but it doesn't! I like the way that the scripture in Matthew 25: 40 puts it, in the Bible, "And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me." I think it is fair to say that each of us lives in a time of change, great change, whether it be in reference to our current president, or the simple state of the world, I think that each of us has a hard time, at times. I want to help in any way that I can. It may not yet be morning, and we all said goodbye to that beautiful dusk ages ago, but there is always someone out there who has it worse than you. I say that in all humility. That is why I plan to spread my volunteer work over different organizations, whether it be the Loveland Public Library (the only warm place some people see, sadly), knitting winter clothes for little kids, or befriending someone new in my current ward that needs a friend, and I can tell. I hope I'm not saying too much to you all, when I say that we all can do something to serve someone, we need only look.

5) Learn how to use a camera. This one might be especially tricky...well, they all might be especially tricky, but this one certainly. Remember how I said that I was left-handed? I meant that I am a leftie in absolutely everything. My right arm, the right hand just hangs there, because it certainly wouldn't help if it ever tried to help, it would probably just ruin everything! Nevertheless, I am still setting this goal, because there just has to be hope for me yet. Whether it is either found in a special, make-shift camera or converting the photos that I take on my phone to photo paper, it just has to be possible. I know that I am not the first person with a problem like mine, nor the last. Weaknesses like this one from the car accident that I was in years ago are just a part of life (I used to be right-handed-can you believe it?). My grandpa Gardner has always been a big photo taker all my life, and I might be a little bit interested in the art of photography too, but I have to actually do it, the whole shebang to actually figure it out. I admit that I truthfully I have no idea how difficult and/or complex this is going to be for someone like me, but that is part of the fun! "Gulp."

6) Learn how to play seven songs on the piano-PRACTICE!-I mean sound waves! (To the Laman) I used to be awfully musical, at least before I was sitting at the point of impact in a car accident, all those years ago. I was at the top of my piano class (at least I like to imagine, I took solo lessons with a teacher, Judy Johnson, and my sister, Bree also taught me, now that I think of it), I sang really loud in my choir class, I even got the starring role in my fifth-grade musical/program, but everything can change in a second. Once I returned to school after returning from the hospital after my car accident I was a heck of a lot quieter (my therapist told me that the accident affected my lungs (talk about getting the wind knocked out of you) and by extension my voice box--they were all surprised that I could even follow a melody) (I went to voice lessons after the accident. Thank you, Jera!), never tried out for any solos, and I even laughed to mock myself once my mother asked me if I would like to return to piano lessons with Sister Johnson (she was a pianist in church, and her husband was one of my family's home teachers). Now, though I did that, nothing kept me away from the keyboard playing with the notes as I started to teach myself piano. Though I never claim to be a maestro on the ivories, I do now know completely how to read music and play it (or the one-handed melody), I just haven't done so in a while (haven't had Bree to tempt me with her piano-playing or Tara with her violin). I need to change that, so I set this goal.

What do you think of my November goals, that I definitely will need more than one shot at (hopefully, I will give myself that)? What are your goals? Everyone needs more than one shot at things like this, at least I believe. 

  

Café Topics

 Its that time of the month again. I notice new things periodically and this month I am noticing that my monthly posts like this one may be what a group of girlfriends (or boyfriends...) talk about in a place such as a café. (Maybe that is partially what sustained this habit...) Thinking out loud (or on a spree through a post) here, but perhaps if you have something pent up that you could use saying to or with a friend, please feel free. As far as I know even those early morning café conversations require the conversation to have at least two participants, and as you may know, I am all ears. Whether you happen to have a cup of coffee or tea with you, or perhaps a simple blueberry cinnamon scone, here are my October goals:

1) Do something that scares you--in a good way! Suggestions include riding a roller coaster, reading a Stephen King novel, and asking for a raise. Okay, okay, admittedly I may have bitten off more than I can chew here because of the little list that I made of all the different ways I tend on achieving this goal. Here is what I say to that, if you are going to dream, dream big! You aren't doing anyone any favors just sitting there doing nothing. The roller coaster perspective may be a bit too big since I don't know of any county fairs near my current home (though Rexburg had them often (let's just say that I'm not used to living in Colorado again)). There is an Elitch Gardens in Denver, but who lame would it be to visit the park for just a single scary roller coaster (like Mind Eraser you have to see it to truly know the terror that I am referencing)? I also have already visited my city's library to search for a terrifying read by some of the masters of frightening tales, such as Stephen King. The size of his novels was enough to make me shiver. He is an author that surely believes that if you are going to tell a story, tell a story and make it painstakingly long. I am a writer who spends her time dreaming up stories of my own myself, and though I plan to never venture into topics or genres like King myself, I respect his advice of the author always being their own worst critic and his sources of inspiration for some stories are inspirational. Like how Stephen King's book, "It" was started and told as a retelling/remix of the old folk tale, "The Three Billy Goats Gruff." Currently, I am working on a retelling of a classic tale myself. Though I plan and hardly have to try to avoid a King-like story myself, he still can be an inspiration to me as a young writer. As far as anything goes where my job is concerned, like asking for a raise (there is a reason why that is a potential October goal), I am a bit timid, but I have told one of my supervisors that I would gladly accept a promotion, because I know that I could handle it.

2) To be in bed 7 hours a night. I don't know if I am making this goal out of will-power, or maybe it is that I got a bad night's sleep last night. My eyes are dropping as I'm writing this-zzzzz...This goal is also causing me to feel a hint of dejavu. Have I made and attempted at this particular goal before? Well, if you don't succeed at a goal the first time, try and then try again. However many times is necessary for you to create the habit. Like I said before, I had a really bad night's sleep last night and I also have a piece of guidance if any of you out there tend to have this unhealthy issue too. If it is a sound that is keeping you awake on those long, greedy for sleep nights, don't throw the thin layer of a soft pillow over your head and expect that to solely solve the problem, because it won't. My personal suggestion would be that of ear plugs or perhaps prepare your mind for sleep more and perhaps read one more chapter of your book (although Stephen King isn't a suggested author for this activity. You want to eventually fall asleep, don't you?). Oh no, that introduces a whole new series of possible issues, or problems with falling asleep. What helps you in your common, or uncommon cases of apnea? Maybe they could work for me too. 

 

3) Get back into yoga. My personal reason for this particular goal, your guess is as good as mine. I have just been stressed for unexplainable reasons. I am not even in school this semester...maybe that is it. Maybe that is the reason why I am so stressed. That may not make any sense to you, but it makes sense to me. My mind likes to be busy, and remain busy. I have a job that does keep me busy, but where I work isn't open near as often since the COVID-19 pandemic which the world is currently going through. Just tell me when it is over. I know that the quarantine pace is intended to relax me, but it doesn't do that in the least. (How much time do you have?) I think that the way that government is choosing to deal with this is not intended to comfort any of us. Think about it. Do you personally think that this quarantine or this bad news, bad news, bad news pattern that we all are mercilessly falling into is helping you relax at all? (If it is could you please tell me how because I am always up for suggestions.) Aww...I wish I could be as young as my smiley nieces once more. 

4) Start a gratitude journal. I do admittedly already have one of these, although it also has admittedly been a great long time since I last wrote in here, or maybe my prompts have changed. When I was young, and always in the middle of a bad day, I found that I just needed to make a list of 20 things that I was thankful for and then I would start smiling again. Nowadays, with my much more educated mind (grumble grumble), I don't even need a journal, I just need a scratch of paper that I can scribble a little doodle on. It doesn't even have to be the happiest doodle, it can just be something to get me to focus on anything other than my seem-always constant troubles. I remember when I was early in this doodle phase I drew a picture of a boy that was always screaming (no, not Munich) because he could see everything, and that was not a good thing because along with all the good, he also saw all the bad. It made me realize how grateful I was for my own perspective, and always notice the sunshine squeezing it's way through the clouds. I may choose to focus on the clouds at times, but the sunshine is always there, offering to brighten my perspective, or viewpoint. 

5) Take a "me" day. Maybe I am being much too selfish with this one, but I invite others always. It isn't very much of a "me" day at all if I don't get the chance to spend it with friends. Whether we are just goofing around, laughing until I can't breath (possibly not every part of this goal is considered good on a wide spectrum), maybe a night together in a hotel room playing the games we used to play at parties as a tween, a spa day (maybe this one is an extension of goal #3), or anything random that we can think of. I think this need for some personal time was one of the reasons why I started a book club (I love books...so much that it can be considered a problem) (at least they aren't drugs!) with my friends Amber and Chris. Seeing the pandemic that we are currently in, we had to edit our rules too. Most of our meetings currently are online, through Zoom or Discord (I assume by Amber's recent suggestion). Speaking on this love of books, plus spending time with people, makes me wonder, how did you find this blog, reader? Was it through Blogger, or perhaps Instagram or Facebook, because on those mediums, I also post often about my book club, and the books we are all reading together? If you are like me and prefer actually meeting with people, ignoring the internet (seriously, how did you find out about my blog?), we also meet for snacks and movies as often as we can, ot just is more difficult in this particular time. It can't last forever, can it? Here I go again. 

6) 30-day squat challenge. As I hope that you know by now, I like to do whatever I can to remain moving. I walk with a little limp and it is pretty difficult to move the right side of my body at all (it is just for looks, I like to think) since my nervous system got injured near ten years ago as I was sitting at the point of impact in a car accident and received a Tramoutic Brain Injury (TBI) but since then I discovered how much will-power I have in that I will not give up on anything, period. I am near-always trying to improve myself and I recently discovered Jillian Michaels 30-day squat challenge to improve yourself and your abilities. Now, when Jillian Michael's was one of the trainers on "The Biggest Loser" helping people learn how to lose weight properly and healthily, it was probably my favorite TV show (how many years ago was that again?). Although, if I'm being honest, she wasn't my favorite trainer and I never was on her team (it was kind of like a sport, but I digress) but she still had a good heart in this, helping others learn how to live more healthy than they were previously so when I discovered this challenge that she supported, I thought, "sign me up!" We are all just trying to make a better self constantly, after all, I think. 

So, those are my October goals. What are your own? (Sorry, I can't help but be curious.) I don't care if you happen to be slurping up a cup of coffee or tea while you read this (or eating a chocolate chip scone, if you happen to be more like me), I am willing to hear it all. Or if you aren't doing anything with consuming drink or food, you may just be reading this to relax (wait...you do this to relax? We must have very different minds) I'm ready to hear anything. Do you plan on going to any haunted houses by the end of this month, seeing the holiday (if reading happens to be too scary for you), or maybe perhaps you will start your Christmas shopping early this month (smart, personally, I haven't even started knitting anything yet). I'm up for anything.