I belong to the Church of Jesus Christ

I have been inspired to do several things by our church leaders in this General Conference. One of them is to share thoughts with certain people more. On that note, just in case you haven't yet heard it, or had thoughts differing from my own, here are a few of the messages that this General Conference has taught me, thus far:

-Come unto Christ, but don't come alone.

-No one can worship for you

-You must put aside all "life" (education, children, work) to serve a mission

-Always be of service.

-Don't be afraid to share the gospel.

-Be giving, no matter what! Come unto Christ with uncompromised commitment. 

-Don't be arrogant, be compassionate. 

-Stop increasing your doubts by rehearsing them with doubters. 

-Loving ourself seems harder than loving others.

-Smile, even when it is hard.

-Pray about how you can be a tool in God's hands.

-Commonality of love of Christ. ❤ 

-Path is simpler than it seems at first. Don't be frightened. 

-Should all strive to keep the gospel simple.

-Come Follow Me is a great resource for learning and teaching the gospel  

-Know who you are and know your purpose.

-Personal disappointment should never keep you from the doctrine of Christ. 

-Say "Hello" to people sitting alone.

-Moroni telling Joseph Smith about the Book of Mormon initiated the exhalation of others in the Last Days. 

-Greatest and most important responsibility is to preach the gospel. 

-Be compassionate like Christ was with Mary when Lazarus died.

-Pure truth=Pure doctrine=Pure revelation 

-Christ looks on the heart, not the appearance. 

-It doesn't matter where you start but where you are headed.

-Spirits rejoice with every single step forward.

-Always recognize the goodness of God (like Nephi did even with how much his brothers were persecuting him). How do we all react to our own afflictions? 

-The Lord sees weaknesses differently than you. Just keep trying if you wish to please. 

If you have any additional thoughts on this General Conference or just life, I would love to hear them. Thank you! ❤ 😊 

Fills with Joy...like a Pumpkin!

 Another month has flown by and I, for one am glad to be looking upon this beautiful month of October (at least it was beautiful in Colorado...but I have hope yet for my new location of living that is to the north) (granted, not much hope since north tends to mean colder and more icy but there still is a flicker in me 🔥😉). It certainly feels like fall, my favorite season, so therein, October is indeed my favorite month. Fall, or autumn being my favorite season, October leaves me beyond thrilled for one (or however many you may wish). The crispness added to the smell of used-to-be plain air, the bright color in the trees (change is sometimes a good thing...I know, just wait until November once they are truly dead or just sticks hanging in the sky 😖) (don't make me think about it!), and all of the pumpkin themed or flavored  things cooking in my kitchen. Fall fills my cup to the brim with happiness, truly. I do enjoy setting goals and trying new things, and though January is ideal, September and especially October are my jam. For October, my main focus, I find, happens to be food, and I encourage you also to find a beat with your mid-year (though it is closer to the end...) beat with what you set or dream for yourself, whether they happen to be like mine or not, anyway, mine happens to be food...or pumpkins, now that I think about it. 🎃

1) Spend One Day outside soaking up the season-Admittedly, Idaho is greatly different from the place where I grew up of Colorado. On this very day, I have to wear long sleeves to work, paired with a jacket. I am a cashier, so I tend to dwell close to the door and even while I am helping set up Halloween, that is closer to the front door than I would like to admit. Just a fact of life...Autumn is a more chilly season, but that doesn't mean that it is not beautiful. As Laura Jaworski once said, "In the hazy days at summer's end when the air's still warm and the green near spent. When the days grow short and the evenings tall. Then you feel in whisper, Fall." Summer is going to leave, and I am going to miss it, but the days remain magnificently beautiful. Honestly, take a moment, everyone, shut your eyes, as tight as you can, and think of all of your favorite moments in this colder season, crisp, perfect, all bound together. (Personally I enjoy the food, color, and community. Everyone is friends with everyone, or at least they are trying to be so in this perfect season. 🍂) Aren't those thoughts comforting? Don't be a Scrooge with the magical season of fall (I know, wrong holiday... in my defense, I watched a Christmas movie last night.) Let summer slip away silently, as we rejoice (I know, wrong holiday, look at the last parentheses). Every season holds its very own beauty, but I think that autumn is the most extraordinary. The weather delights, humid summertime leaves, and the colors are a fascinating visual feast. Mother Nature is giving us all a beautiful stillness before drifting off to sleep. Honestly, a magical season that I don't think we all appreciate enough. 

2) Visit the pumpkin patch-I know this one too. I know that I might be a little old for these frivolous pumpkin patch dreams, but I am always trying to be a kid at heart. ❤ Plus, the majority of the reason for this goal happens to be the sad fact that my apartment building doesn't let my husband and I hang up that many Halloween decorations if they do something to the building. So, riding by the seat of my pants, setting up (not hanging,  mind you) a pumpkin (or jack-o-lantern, we have a carving kit for the spooky tradition), will be part of our dedication to the holiday. I don't care how grown out of it I am supposed to be, it is still a holiday. Also, on a side note, pumpkin patches are not solely to be used only for picking pumpkins. You may ride a pony...though I may be a bit old for that physically, I still like to see the animal. They are one of my favorites. I haven't had an experience even close to like this one in a while. (And now that I think of it...horses do tend to not like me. I will never forget when sweet old Daisy tried to sit on me in the mountains!) Pumpkin patches also have hay bales that one may walk on. Although, Michael, may you please help me climb up and through that. I don't wish to endanger myself. Gulp. I am slightly afraid of heights, and though I am a big kid, I am one of the smaller ones (I am short 😋). I could take a photo on the little set they have for such at the patch (or right next to it...it has truly been a while). I am a little poser, when it comes down to it, especially when I am with people or in places that make me happy. When we are done, or maybe during the photo montage moment, I could hold a rabbit, since a lot of pumpkin patches have petting zoos. This happens to be a great opportunity to hold and handle small animals. I need to be fearless. Ahh...to be young again. Also, I will need to play in the pit of corn. That sounds weird in my head, but I know that I won't be alone, and that it has been done before. (I know. Bite off the big piece of cake.) Finally, I will need to pick out a pumpkin! Ready when you are, world! (When it is closer to Halloween...🤢)

3) Make and eat pumpkin everything-I do love pumpkins. Don't you? Although admittedly, I have not started growing pumpkins in my garden like my sister, Bree, but I still am able to get the proper ingredients to cook anything. In fact, just recently I made some Honeydukes Haul Cake for my husband and I, and I would say that it was a great success, but I am not here to talk about something that I already did. Rather, something that I will do in the very near future. When I think fall, I think pumpkin, so in increasing my ever growing dish list, I am added some pumpkin-flavored, or pumpkin-inspired dishes to mine. Now, I know that you are probably thinking solely of pumpkin pie or some other dessert (don't pay attention to the photo 😋); truly it has been pigeonholed into the dessert world, but it is my goal to look further into the ways that this awesome ingredient should not be doomed to stay in one category forever. Maybe pumpkins are the way they are because farmers can only sell them for a short period of time in October...but looking into them, pumpkins are loaded with fiber and vitamin c, along with a brim of beta-carotene, making them truly a hearty ingredient that packs a nutritional punch. 👊 The pumpkins that are best for eating are flavorful and dense, and because those are hard to find, they are lumped normally into the sugar and pie categories. Though a girl like me can dream of planting and growing the pumpkins I eat, or use to bake like a true gardener, my husband and I currently lack the space in our own garden, so I will have to get my start with pumpkin puree which isn't a bad thing! I have to start this like I have to start everything, as a simple beginner. Now, for those of you out there that think only of dessert when you think of pumpkin, let me state that they are in the squash family. One can toss them in a salad, simmer them into your very next soup (and who knows? Michael may like this one...though I haven't found a soup that he likes yet) (he has stuff on me too, I hate raisins and pears 😖), or puree them into next breakfast smoothie. Honestly, the possibilities are endless. I love food. 🧡

4) Do an at-home facial once a week-With this particular goal, I am afraid that I have a confession: I love it when I get help from friends to help make myself look beautiful, but there are some parts of me, like my face, where I would honestly keep the treatment to myself. Don't get me wrong, insecurity is not a reason in the least for this dead ringer goal, it was more of a realization that the place where I happen to currently work at sells facial treatments for an extremely low price (not just for the employees who work there, but for everyone) and I quite honestly can't say no to a deal. (Which is a strength and a weakness. Too much of a good thing can be a bad thing.) Let me highlight the steps to this specific type of frugality of yours truly. First in the process comes the cleanse. Everything good must start with a clean slate. Why do you think they use whiteboards now instead of blackboard? Next, comes the exfoliating. I plan to be physical with mine by using products such as facial scrubs, or the like. Not the chemical. I will also get the chance to soak my face in warm water here. I am sensitive, so not boiling, just warm. Next (perhaps I should say finally, because this is my favorite part) I get to treat my face with a mask. There are gel, clay and cream masks. I think I am going to use gel because those type are good for those with red skin (like me), but I will look into this more before pursuing it fully. (This is just a blog post.) After the big step of masking, one is supposed to moisturize plus massage their face. I have plenty of health-conscious lotions, and I already massage or get my face massaged often. Crazy goals. 💁‍♀️

 

5) Start "Jesus Calling" by Sarah Young-I think if Jesus Christ, our Savior and Redeemer ever sent a call to us, it is now, in our current day. Now I am not saying that the world is ending, I am highlighting that Christ is always calling out to us, and we should always be listening. Sadly, we are not. I want to read this book to deepen my relationship with Jesus as I come to understand Him more fully as the One who understands me perfectly and still loves me forever, no matter how flawed I may be. This book includes scripture and personal reflection pinpointing Jesus' message of peace--today and everyday. This book is meant to be a year-long study guide, so it may be just that I wish to get my start in October, but we all have to start somewhere. Spend time with the Savior, in Him, you feel comfort by hope, strengthen your faith (scripture verses!), and feel the reassurance of Christ's unending love for you. It is just a bad day, not a bad life. If anyone can tell us about our definition of a bad day, it is Christ. Do you know what this is a painting of?  Also, in adding along with that rhythm, today at 10am will be the beginning of our General Conference broadcast. I don't know about you, but it is greatly different for me (in the best of ways ❤), with my living in an apartment, getting a new job, and of course getting married to the man of my dreams. This may be a bit of a tangent for you to see, or not see where I am going but maybe there is a reason why I am having the thoughts that I am having so here goes--I shall tell them to you. In order to prepare for this General Conference, I decided to write down some questions that I hope with all my heart may be answered mid this one. Here they are (also, if you feel so inclined, you may answer them, it would be greatly appreciated please and thank you)-

-Is there anything specific that I can do currently in my life to be of more service?

-How can I forgive them (sometimes forgiveness is hard)? 

-How do, or should I lead?

-How can I truly be a leader when I feel sorely all alone? (Hello? Anybody out there? 🙁)

-Who can I share these beautiful and peaceful messages of the gospel with?

-Where do I find peace in a turbulent world? 

Just a few of my own thoughts right there. 🤭 I hope that they at least made some sense...gulp. Again if you have your own thoughts you feel so inclined to share, or perhaps an answer (or answers) to one of my questions, I would love to hear it! Remember, though I am the poster child for being shy and could still use this lesson myself, we are all in the same world, just trying to figure things out, or our place in it. Thank you for understanding, or at least trying to do so with me and my crazy mind. 💓

6) Send cards (Halloween?) to 3 people-Truly, I am just plain old-fashioned, but reckon this. Making and sending greeting cards has superpowers. Stay with me (I am almost done ✔), but it always means more to get a card rather than a text or an email, no matter how heartfelt your words seem to be. In the past...I don't really know how long, so let's say year, I have been a part of a letter-writing group where we each send letters to one another to help pick up one's spirit when they need it (and trust me, this last year, they needed it!). I never looked at something such as this as a chore, I saw it as a chance to make new friends and I did. The written word hold power. In more than one way. Initially, it may help us to combat loneliness, which can be a very heartbreaking quality in today's society. Not everyone knows about their God up in heaven that loves them, that is why they need somebody. They need us. They will always need us, no matter how good of an appearance they tend to keep up. Isn't this a part of the test of life? 

 Those are my aspirations for the scary notion of October...well, hopefully they weren't too scary. 😬

September is the New January

September. I don't know why but today September just feels like a particularly good month...whatever your opinions of it may be, just hear me out, or at least try to. September is a month for second chances, I believe. Who cares that it is the...ninth (?) (January February March April May June July August September--yes, it is the ninth month) month on our circle about our solar system, or piece of the universe.  Don't let me forget anything (I know, ha!) but let me wish you reader,  a happy September (I don't care if that is the way I am supposed to say it or not, let's just stay friendly with one another)! May this month bring each of you satisfaction, peace, and joy. May each and every desire that you hold in your heart ❤ be granted. May this final hurrah that summer gives be the new, needed beginning of things in your life. Stay strong, dedicated, happy 😊, and fulfill each of your dreams...(that broken record!) it could always be worse! Don't ever give up hope! There is always a new tomorrow! Summer isn't over yet! (Tick...tock...⏰) Let me just answer any questions that may arise, everybody always has a reason to be happy, no matter what feeling they happen to be focusing on (trust me, I have bad days too). I started a new job today...if you happen to know why I am ever the optimist. 😁 Let's stop trying to beat that burning bush. 

 

1) Get in habit of meditation/yoga daily (try and renew self with this goal, out of the busy, hectic bustle of life)-I can't believe that I am going to say this, but yoga is therapeutic, and that is a good thing. 🥴 Let me illustrate; the primary purpose in life is to somehow assess yourself (yo-ga) and provide a settling practice for yourself that you benefit from. Just in case you are wondering, that is a good definition of yoga. As realization arises of this and the hidden benefits of it, it is healthy for you (as a professional 😉) to inform oneself of the nature of this practice and the clear (and unclear, let's be honest here, shall we?) therapeutic effects of this practice as you, or I have grown as a person, along with changed, it is fair to say. A few years ago, I found it easy to find a minute or two to relax, only bothered by myself, and stretch my body in a way that was somewhat comforting to my mind. Nowadays, though I am very grateful for what I currently have in my life, I wouldn't say that as strongly; work, school, and let alone marriage can keep you very busy. I still remember, yoga is a clever workout to get the body to relax. But let me go deeper thus time, specially with the notion of therapeutic yoga. Here's a quick lesson: therapeutic yoga is the application of yoga postures and practice thereby to the treatment of health conditions and involves practice to reduce structural, physiological, emotional, spiritual pain, suffering, or limitations. In fact, yoga practices are known to enhance muscular strength along with flexibility, promote both the respiratory and cardiovascular function, reduce stress (who doesn't need that these days?), depression, anxiety, chronic pain, improve sleep patterns 😴, and overall improve the quality of life! Who is with me? 

2) Make one new friend (like with a book club or something)-Before anyone out there says anything, I know that I already have plenty of friends in the book club that I (or we) already created. Maybe I worry too much...no that can't be it, but looking at this from a physiological standpoint, friends increase one's need to be needed (or fulfills, I should say). I truly do appreciate all of you out there reading this, I really do. Friends help me through the ages by increasing my own personal purpose, making me happy 😊 (smile more, like nobody is watchimg), improving my self-esteem, helping me to cope with personal traumas (please don't make me go deeper with that one) (I HATE talking about it) (I know, talking about and admitting are part of acceptance--I have taken the classes too), and helps to encourage a happy lifestyle (happy is just the best word for it). Also, believe it or not, friendship helps one to avoid several health issues in their life, including depression (opposite of happiness 🙁), high blood pressure, and an unhealthy BMI (body mass index). So reach out! Does anyone need a friend in these perilous times? 

3) Cut unnecessary spending-Oh no. Living is hard, but saving is...dare I say it? Even harder! Right now, right this moment I happen to be wearing a brand new shirt that I bought yesterday that I happen to have not needed (It is a really cute shirt! And it happens to have one of my favorite alien characters on it!...Sad excuses). I guess I could be doing much worse, but in the rhythm I swear I will sustain this month I will be more frugal for the rest of it, by using these strategies to trim my unnecessary spending ahem...

 

-Put any bonus that I may get into savings (I won't complain once it feels like the world is ending)

-Set a shopping limit (I spent a lot of money yesterday, but in my defense, it is my husband's birthday in a few days, and we need something to party with once out work day is complete) (just filling a need( 

-Embrace DIY projects. If something ain't broke, don't fix it and I like making my own stuff at home when there is time. 

4) Let go of the past-I do admit that I need to work on this one pretty badly, because of the Traumatic Brain damage that I received in my past that doesn't seem to go away no matter how hard I try. I will try to be an optimist here, but just know that it is hard,  real hard. I know that letting go of these painful emotions that are in my head (at least that is how some people put it) will help me in regulating my feelings much more effectively. Letting go, or being mindful has its proofs in helping overall health, I just don't want to take it too far (lest we forget Elsa ❄), I just want to just be. Because there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. (I wonder what effect--there I go! thinking too much again! 😪)

5) Read with Michael on appointed "book nights"-In case you haven't heard, I love my husband. Seriously, we are so alike, though I enjoy that factor on some notes, he makes me laugh so hard, sometimes at myself (who said that was a bad thing?). While we double over in laughter, I realize that an essential part of me is a vital part of him too. He likes to read! Though, I must admit, the books that we find the other reading differ greatly from our own, I still like it. He is reading a new book in the other room right now as I type these thoughts. These thoughts aren't random either, and he has no idea about them of their attachment to him or books at the moment (hi Mike!). Anyway, he is showing me that another person may be interested in different things, or perhaps books ("gulp") but that one teensy difference doesn't necessarily make them a bad person or representative perhaps. Everyone has their special qualities, that doesn't make them weird, it makes them unique rather (there is no such thing as a synonym). For one, when Eistein became famous, he disliked the recognition he received, even if it was positive.Before Thomas Edison died, his breath was caught in a box and given to Henry Ford (maybe it is just me, but that sounds Alice in Wonderlandesque). I try to remember though, that doesn't make them weird, that makes them them. Who knows how different the reading taste is of the pair in the picture? The Boy certainly looks like he is enjoying it more, or maybe it is just in youthful nature. 

 

 

Don't Make It Bitter

 My, I don't know where my head is today. Actually, scratch that. I will give you, reader, a review of my day thus far. First off, I had a nightmare last night that woke me up a little before my alarm this morning with a start. People were yelling at me like it was my fault like it was all my fault (I don't know exactly what "it" is or was, but sometimes the mysteries of a dream make them all the more terrifying). They were acting vengefully on me and the people that I loved, and they were going to attack, and that was right when I woke up with a start. I was only too glad to find that Michael was still lying beside me (caught in a sweet dream, for all I knew) and it was all only a dream. Phew! My alarm went off a few minutes later, and have found that that the previous circumstances were only a nightmare robbing me of good sleep, I hit the snooze button, shut my eyes again, and tried to fall asleep. When those few lethargic minutes passed, and I found myself saying my morning prayers (I am trying to get back into that habit) in the monotony of morning. After doing so, I don't know what happened, but it was as if I was stuck with a cattle prod. When I want to be fast I am. I was in the parking lot at work all too soon, when I realized that I wasn't even working the morning shift. I assume that I should have been more firm with Brandon about making sure my work schedule gets sent to the new email that I regularly check (emails are to be the death of me!) (actually, even though it has many good uses, I guess I just don't understand it yet in full, do technology is to be the reason that I die in the end). I know that everything falls on me and is my responsibility in the end...sorrowfully (JK!), so hopefully these monthly goals will help. Gulp. 

1) Limit empty calories. There is just something about living on your own that makes you keep an extra eye on the food that enters your body and whether or not it is actually good for you. That can be seen as either a good or a bad thing (or both...). I am saying right now that it is a good thing, or I am at least trying to. (Unhealthy food always seems to be cheaper though and is less likely to just plain rot in the back of my fridge or cupboard.) Healthy food is good, so this month, I plan to keep an extra eye on my diet with this goal. I won't just ignore the ice cream in the fridge in my work break room. Gotta start somewhere. 💁 Also, for those of you that don't know, empty calories are the calories that come from solid fats or sugars. They are found in things like donuts, fruit drinks, and pizza (did I miss anything?). Don't look at me like that!

2) Clean Tupperware and get in the habit of hand-drying it. Along with a little joke...Here goes. 

I am a firm believer in the kitchen appliance/tool/storage unit of Tupperware. They just make things easier to keep, like my sanity. This isn't a recent discovery either. I have always loved this thing, and its many uses, or rather the many things that it can store. In fact, I thought up an invention for those of us that simply can never find the lid to the container, or vice versa. (I am now telling you this because I swear that I am not the only one who has come up with this idea, or rather solution.) Just make the lid and the container attached. Let me illustrate, like the lid to those little packets of M&M's at the movie theater, or like a pack of sticky notes, or even how you open a hard-cover book (or any book...this is just easier to describe if one part of the book is firm (the cover) and the other flimsy (the paper). Now, before I get too carried away with this idea (who knows? maybe it will become one of my goals in the future.), let me backtrack. I have a wonderful dishwasher, its only issue seems to be with this particular type of dish. And since I and my husband both have jobs and one of us is studying to become a doctor (and the other an inventor with crafty ideas like the aforementioned Tupperware Wonder) (I'm still working on what I will call it!), we are both firm believers in the lazy (had to be said) idea of air-drying. So, this goal is just me saying, no more! I will make sure all of my dishes, Tupperware particularly (always the wettest), are dried to their sustenance, even if I have to use a towel in doing so. It may not be a flood right now (though there was a thunderstorm the other night...loud noises frighten me), but I should always be doing what I can to help, even if it only be in the small ways. The wise man built his house upon the rock (I should really give Michael more credit). 

3) Earn money writing. Now, with this one, I do admit that I am not some epic published author who has sold millions of books that tell stories that I wrote, but as you might have noticed with some of my other blog posts, I know how to write a story and enjoy doing so. Everyone has different favorites when it comes to reading and writing, and though I haven't quite found my niche yet, I am trying to, with responses to random writing prompts that I am given with the writing and publishing pages that I follow on Facebook and Instagram, I am noting the ones that I would like to continue with, and make a bigger story, maybe even a novel someday. Currently, I am working on writing a story that I call (or will call if I don't change my mind...which I am known to do), Chasing the Abyss. It is the story of Zechariah Taylor, who feels like he isn't headed anywhere in life with the small Wisconsin town that he grew up in, and he can't wait to get out. That is until life threw him another curveball testing him on how much he really loves his family and if he will stay with them until the end of their trial. Going nowhere, but going everywhere. That is the theme that I am trying to chase, or rather track down with this particular story idea. Stories are designed to make others think, and in the process of their creation, they make the author think snd discover several parts of themselves, at least that is how it is with me (though I am nothing big...yet, and I do not know if I will ever be.)

4) Talk to flowers (or plants). Before you say how crazy I am, this is legit! Talking to plants can indeed help them grow, especially if you happen to be a woman. Now, I am not quoting the Botany class that I have taken in the past, but I a not just going off of a gut feeling either. In a study that the Royal Horticulture Society conducted, researchers discovered that talking to your plants does indeed help them to grow healthily, and faster. Also, they found that better results were given in response to a female voice rather than a male one. (I think of vague attachments to the Bible there, which is either odd or proof that God patterned even things like this for a special reason). This can be my own little experiment, though I doubt that Michael will ever feel like talking to plants. What can I say? My last name used to be Gardner (which though it was spelled differently, sounded like a gardener, and it was an English name). Maybe I should study my own genealogy more (and Michael's because though I am more English and Danish by blood, he happens to be more Italian and Hispanic in the same way, and if you think about it, so am I now too).

I am a forward, progressive thinker, and I don't think that is a bad thing. 

It all starts with sparklers...

 I have now been married for about a month, and let me tell you...it has certainly been full of surprises for certain. (I just didn't know that I liked surprises so much. 😄) Mike and I definitely share a few tokens to remember the vitality of the rest of our forever together. We are both willing to fight for each other, should the day come that either of us has to (though if I am being honest, I hope it doesn't...I don't wish to become a bother, but you never can know how deep the thunder may roar). We are so grateful that we were married and had our vows exchanged in the temple, in the eyes of God. We both know that with Him, our marriage will last forever and have success. Everyone is in constant need of His mercy. As we grow closer to the Lord together, we find ourselves able to see our strengths and our weaknesses more clearly. A little good, a little bad, but all in all, beautiful (or handsome 😍). Mike helps me see my life in clarity, I believe, which helps me make these goals a bit better. I hope you enjoy it. (Not to sound like a broken record but, life is good.) 

1) Read "The Underground Railroad" by Colson Whitehead. I made this goal, hoping to be simplistic. I know that the 4th of July is a few mere days away and where the country is today...I thought or rather hoped that it would never be in my lifetime (or anyone's lifetime, considering). I am sad to say many Americans are not looking forward to the celebration of our country's independence in the least. Now that I think it, how independent, or free, if you rather, can anyone consider themselves? Seriously, I am not saying that this nation hasn't seen it worse before, honoring and respecting people that fought in this nation's many battles to see freedom, but I do have my own battles, everyone does, and I am considerate of them all (before I get off on another tangent...). That is why my book club and I are reading the book by Colson Whitehead, "The Underground Railroad" this month, so we can celebrate the freedom of all, as we celebrate America's freedom this month. It verses the story of Cora, a slave on a Georgia plantation, who doesn't fit in and is mocked and ridiculed by all, even by the other slaves. When Caesar, from Virginia, tells her about the Underground Railroad, they decide to risk it all and attempt an escape. In order to do so, Cora must do outlandish things that she never thought she would do on any other day during any other time. This story reminds me somewhat of "Gulliver's Travels" with Cora encountering new things at each stage in her journey. It creates an odyssey with time, as well as space. It is interesting what one will do when freedom is on the line.

2) Track daily food intake for one month. I promise this one will have a point, but how often do even you think about what you eat each day? Not lollygagging like either, seriously think about it. Why did you do it? Did you just order the first thing on the menu that you saw? (Yup, that's me. ✋) It is only too easy to mindlessly eat every meal (and difficult to admit that we are doing so) (at least it is for me). Everyone has so much going on in their own lives that understanding the prospect of food, or which food we should eat at a given moment seems like just one more thing to add to our to-do list (that is already miles long). "Food is fuel." I know, I know. Everyone knows. We all prefer eating whatever we can get our hands-on. This is where I say (or rather, yell), "No more!" We are not all starving dogs (eating anything we can) so we should stop acting like it! Now, this goal was hard for me to make, because though I am a regularly healthy person that you wouldn't assume needs to go on a diet, I still have those bad habits. I like having at least one pizza night at my house a week, I've got a good nose and an ever-expanding stomach for good food (what can I say? Michael is allergic to dairy, so it is only right that I help him out there by eating what he can't.), and whenever I go to Wendy's, I have to order a frosty with my meal (also, a salad order at a fast-food restaurant is ridiculous) (I did do it once, but at the end, I was just more hungry for a cheeseburger). Everyone has lessons and habits that they could and should learn that can be applied to food intake, so I am starting here. 

3) Declutter every room in our home. Nobody's perfect, and I certainly am not here. Getting married and someone moving in with you is a great idea, though it does have its surprises, like all of the new habits that you must get used to. Mike is a clean person, I am not selling him short; it is just that we are both very busy people and we like to think on our feet. Yeah, that's believable. The walls are closing in. --that is why I make this goal. 😉 Cleaning or decluttering has its benefits too, let me direct that. Regular cleaning will delete the likelihood for sickness, overall. (On that note, Mike is studying to become a doctor.) A clean home presents more of an opportunity to be hospitable, in that a general pick-up makes your home look all the better. Also, you may break into a sweat while cleaning...and singing a song (you have your habits, I have mine) (music helps me in everything) (strictly speaking, dancing makes you sweat too) and therefore, you won't need any of those expensive gym memberships. If cleaning tasks are spread throughout the week, you feel less guilty about downtime. Keeping a clean home makes one happy. (Read that again, because it is true.) And even though it is the little things that control over them is in fact, comforting. (Did you read it again?)

4) Eat a salad every day for one month.  Here I go again...I'm serious if any of you doubters happen to be reading this.An eating plan that helps manage your, or strictly speaking my weight includes a variety of healthy foods. Add an assortment of colors to your plate and think of it as eating a rainbow. 🌈 Dark, leafy greens of the lettuce and/or spinach, oranges, and tomatoes--even fresh herbs are loaded with vitamins, minerals, and fiber. Also, adding frozen peppers, broccoli, or onions to stews and omelets gives them a quick, convenient burst of color and nutrients. Another tidbit, if I must, and I must, did you know that you can make oatmeal in a cute little teapot? 🍵 I'm not trying to convince myself of anything...maybe. If anything, it is to buy more lettuce (and a cute, little teapot, because I can't say no to anything that is cute or little) (I pity myself on the day that Mike and I have children, I would be way too loose with rules right now because of how cute and little our children with their pleading puppy-dog eyes are bound to be 😍). Heaven, help me!

Happy 4th everyone!

What's a girl in love to do?

I did not necessarily do the best, the most top-notch job at my goals last month, but I am still in the process of giving myself a break. Bad excuse?? I don't think so. I am still trying to fit in the groove of living in a new place, trying to fit in reasonable amounts of time daily to get my classes and schoolwork done (talk about goals that I should have... never mind), and oh, I am getting married later today. 💖 If that one doesn't take the cake, I don't know what will. (In addition to marrying the man of my dreams, I am in high anticipation of finally getting to eat that delicious cake that my sister-in-law, Emily Gardner baked for my special day, plus I just haven't eaten a cake in a while in my pre-wedding diet, though that is just a slight sharp in a chorus of flats.) Anyway, if you reach for the sky and you miss, at least you are among the stars. ⭐

1) Start attending the self-reliance classes my neighbors, Conor and Mati are offering with Mike. 

Before I go on about this particular aim, I would like to make one thing painfully clear. I have been working on becoming self-reliant because sometimes the only one that I find that I truly can rely on is myself. It is a sad fact of life, but it is true. I found this startling fact in its essence of truth, particularly after my car accident. Not to sell any of you shart out there, because if you did something to help me get through that part of my life, I was grateful then, am grateful now, and will be forevermore, let me divulge into the point I was trying to make with these sentences if they remain to make no sense at all to you. Lots of giving, generous, charitable people out there did take out the little parts of them for me, but the injury that I received from the car accident still remains one of the types that confound all, because of how difficult that it is to understand in specifics. I received a TBI (Traumatic Brain Injury) which means that my head was rattled so very hard, that it now is harder to function on the right side of my body because of the way in which I was hit. Since there are about a million ways, if not more, or so I believe that someone unlucky can be hit in a way similar to the way that I was, there are a million, if not more ways that one may be injured in a way similar (in a way that ceases to be similar at all) to the way in which I was hit. All of my doctors and therapists that helped me to recover after the accident were very helpful, and I am very grateful because they all played their part in helping me to reach where I am today, but they also helped me realize that I don't get any better unless I decide to do so. I need to learn to rely more on myself. I need to learn to become more self-reliant. Admittedly, I have already missed some of these classes which my neighbors invited me to (either by lack of attendance, or honeymoon, as the reason, will be this coming week) (what is self-reliance again?), but I will still try my hardest to go to as many of these limited class numbers as I can, and of Michael, please help me! (I always seem to do better if I have someone more than just myself to rely on...not that a handicap like that is a good thing, it just certainly isn't a bad thing.) 

2) Purchase something to improve your life. I would like to highlight or rather jump back to the little paragraph that I wrote at the beginning of this post, where I was feeling downtrodden on myself because I didn't feel at all accomplished in my goals last month (or any month 😞), where I sure was reminding myself that I am my own worst any enemy (even if I do not always realize it) and was just feeling crummy about myself because I certainly am the worst. STOP IT! I am speaking to one and all here (including myself). It happens to us all sometimes. I know this to be true. We all feel that violin in our ear playing out "My Heart Bleeds For You" because we really do think that we are the worst, though that is truly the last thing that any of us are. As Jack Sparrow said, "The problem is not the problem. The problem is your attitude about the problem." In other words, everyone is their own worst enemy, but that shouldn't get any of us down! There is always room, plus time for improvement on any day. Don't sweat it that much, really. I have a point. Also, if you continue feeling just plain awful about yourself, you can turn to your scriptures and read about the Atonement and Resurrection. Christ went through all that suffering for you, so you must matter! Anyway, my point with this goal; I already find myself buying more items than I need at the store, or maybe I just really hate spending precious money, especially when I have one of the lowest-paying jobs in Rexburg (or maybe I'm just hungry right now...), but I need a better, more comfortable pattern to my shopping. I need bread for toast, peanut butter for sandwiches, and berries for anti-oxidants. All these things help me, it's true (and they taste good 😋), I just need a simpler pattern of listing them from a layer of most important to least, maybe...or I need to realize that the world isn't ending...yet. 

3) Run one mile every day. In case you need it again, here is another vibrant flashback for you: I don't run. I haven't run for over a decade. Now, not to say that I am lazy because I don't think I am. I am a real hard worker, or at least I fancy myself as one. This is just playing the record of my life, I can't do a lot of things now because of the car accident that I was in, and running is one of them. Jeff, one of my greatest therapists explained it in a way preferable to me when he said that any exercise that a normal person would do is double for me, because of my handicap. I don't run, but that doesn't mean that I haven't tried. I find it easier to walk quickly if I'm listening to my quick-beat pop music. It is almost natural (just make sure I know where I am putting my foot--I have tripped, fallen, and broken my face more than once). My job at DI (Deseret Industries) is practically walking around nonstop and straightening certain areas of the store, but since I get paid for that, I don't count it as exercise. I should edit this goal, run, or walk one mile a day in a setting that is preferable not a store (though I can spend over an hour arousing Walmart weekly, I don't count that, or shouldn't because lots of that time is spent looking at products, searching for my needs, accessibility, or the cheapest price). 

4) Set alarm for sunrise everyday. Okay, cards on the table. I have almost always considered myself an early bird. No matter what time I went to sleep the night before, I got up at a decently early time the next day. Let me detail. It has always been like this. When I was really young, I strangely looked forward to getting up real early to help my parents through newspapers on a paper route around town (who cared that I had school later that day? I would be just as awake for my school hours during the Math test that I knew I would receive a B- on), what can I say? I had a strange, young, innocent mind. I miss those days, startlingly, when I compare them to some that I encounter now (excluding today, I have been antsy about marriage my whole entire life). Here is what I am talking about: I have a job that I have to get to if I want enough money to help put food on the table (I still don't trust that mac-n-cheese that Mike recently put in the cabinet), I have classes that I have to pass (and have enough time to pass, strictly speaking), and I have to set apart workout time (who cares if it is midnight or past midnight?) to sustain a healthy functioning body. I guess that is why I set this goal, in itself. I believe in starting every one of my days in a relaxed tone, even if the rest of my day that I am looking forward to isn't relaxing at all. That is why I set the time for sunrise (one of the best times for relaxing yoga 욗). Namaste. 

5) Sleep with phone in another room. This is going to be a tough one, nevertheless, I am relentless (and know that I can do it, I have done it before)! What can I say, bad habits are hard to break? Nevertheless, they are possible to break. My main issue with this one is I like listening to quiet music (not the music that I plan to walk to, or dance to during my quick workout) as I go to sleep, and I like it to be audible, so I usually just throw my phone across my bed, put on my sleep mask, and go to sleep...I wish it were that simple. Stay with me: phones are a little like little computers, so they can contain the world within them, and with that a million (if not more) distractions. I have become better at controlling myself through the years (I don't need to know what happens in the next chapter that much, What happens in other people's lives makes no difference to mine, or my favorite, Mike is probably really tired too), but I could always do better. That is why I create this goal. To create a good habit that will help me to sustain another good habit. Not to be an empty echo in a lone cave, but if you happen to be reading this, love, could you help a goal out? I know that helping one another to create new, better selves would sure be appreciated, certainly on my side, at least. 💕 Thank you! Have to walk before you can run. 

💋 I love you, Michael! 💋

(This picture was taken on one of our first dates, little did we know that our time together would just become more and more enjoyable and it wouldn't only be stopping for a sandwich together 💘.) What's a girl in love to do? 😍

I'm still a beginner...

 Now, you probably didn't decide to read this blog post to receive at least some of my philosophical views, but you are going to get them. (As long as we are on that groove, why did you read this? I would love to hear it in the comments! ❤) Actually, let's be honest with one another, shall we? I'm really tired, didn't fall asleep until late last night, and just lost $2 to get my laundry done. I know it isn't that much but I don't like spending money and back in the days before I paid to get a load done, I considered doing my laundry relaxing and would sometimes do it more than once a week because it always helped me to reach my zen. That isn't the story anymore. I am grateful that I still have a place where I can wash and dry my clothes, don't get me wrong, I just find the humid, noisy, groggy, sad place a little less relaxing. Maybe I'm just a beginner...yes, that's it. I know life is hard, but I try to make it the best that I can (I already vacuumed this morning if that counts 😜). In other words, here is my monthly post on my goals, may the odds be ever in my favor because of it. 

1) Do a no-spend challenge. 

I don't mean to address myself as an introvert...wait, maybe I do, keep reading but it is pretty tough not spending every dime (and nickel, and quarter, and penny) that I own every time that I go to the store, but I also support life of frugality. I always have. I remember when I was still in Young Women's, I started a lifestyle of tracking everything that I spent for a week, and though I had a very low income anyway, it introduced me to the idea that a penny saved is a penny earned. Strictly speaking though, that was a really long time ago, and back then I didn't have to go grocery shopping once a week in order to live (or stuff way too many quarters in the dryer to get it to actually dry my clothes), so I need to look at my current lifestyle, and try to do something like that again. I need to hold onto my money if I can. Now, I am not introducing the idea that I starve (living off the two pizzas that I have in my freezer 😋), or not do my laundry at the end of each week, but I am proposing the thought that I actually look at, and think about my needs vs. my wants before I make an honest purchase. Let me illustrate, I am a bookworm (I promise that I have a point), and no matter what, in every single store, I always somehow end up in the section where they place their books that they are selling. Some people have hungry eyes among whatever, I particularly have them around books. I desperately need to know if the dragon does indeed get slain at the end, the guy gets the girl, or the confounding mystery becomes solved. I know this is something about me that makes me me, and I am proud of it (I could be buying as much chocolate as possible, but I don't...usually) sufficed to say. Unfortunately, that tricksy store doesn't always look at this idea positively, since every book is expensive (except for at the used book sale at my old library) (again, I am a frugal person), more often than not I am able to march out of that store without a single book in hand (unless an author recently put out a new book and I can't help myself) (that happened once!...so far). I guess I just like the smell of paper. Someday I will be a writer, but that will be after I complete this no-spend challenge (except for laundry...I have had nightmares about what would happen if I were to have too large a load to place in that place that looks, smells, and feels like a witch's cauldron) (I swear, my imagination is often my savior), with a book in hand, along with a cup of hot cocoa. 

2) Eat-in for 30 days straight. 

I dream of and hope that I am selling myself short with this next goal. I have always admired baking since a very young age. I did what any normal girl would do in the pink apron that my mother bought me, I baked cookies (the best chocolate chip cookies in the world). Now, I am not tooting my own horn. I got the recipe from my mom (as I believe we all did with whatever we were cooking when we were seven) and she knew just what the dough was supposed to look and feel like in order to create the greatest cookies in the world. If you learn from the best and try your best, the results will not taint. Not to say that cookies are the only thing that I bake and eat now because they aren't. (My chest hurts just thinking about it...why did I say that?) I know how to make a few things, but cookies were where my inspiration started. I can make calzones, grilled cheese, or soup, and much much more (just give me the recipe and I will try to keep my memory in check) today so I guess that this is part of m mission not to spend, I need to stop eating out. My fiancee even suggested to me that we can make a few things together, I'll handle the dessert while he does the main meal is what I mean...Also, in case you are a baker hiding his/her works in the closet like me, or you just want it, here is the aforementioned recipe to the greatest cookies in the world:

Chocolate Chip Pudding Cookies

2 1/4 cups

1 tsp. baking soda

1 1/2 tsp salt

1 cup butter

3/4 cups brown sugar

1/4 cup sugar

1 pkg instant vanilla pudding mix

1 tsp vanilla extract

2 eggs

12 oz chocolate chips

1 cup nuts (opt)

Preheat oven to 375 degrees

Combine the flour and baking soda. Set aside.

Mix the butter, brown sugar, white sugar, pudding mix, and vanilla. Beat until creamy. Add the eggs and mix well. Gradually stir in the flour mixture. Stir in the chocolate chips and the chopped nuts. Drop from teaspoon onto ungreased cookie sheets about 1 inch apart.

Bake at 375 degrees for 8 to 10 minutes. 

3) Make an extra $500

I know what you are thinking...a whole lot of these goals have something to do with money. I'm not saying that money is the only thing that matters, but I am being wary. No one really knows what is going to happen in the future and everyone should be prepared, so I am doing the best that I can by setting these goals. Also, show me a sad rich person that doesn't have a place to sleep and food on their table, and maybe I will think twice about these goals. Of course, that can be frustrating sometimes to the vain dreamers like you and me, but instead of complaining and taking the oft-traveled road in that yellow wood, I would much rather take advantage of my skills, be like them, and be willing and able to help my friends and family as the glorious mess I am, as Elizabeth Gilbert would say. Now, I am not going into this goal as a blind mouse dreaming and thinking something is there when it is not, but rather, a blind bat taking advantage of what they know. I don't expect that $500 will fall into my lap...though that would be nice. I need to work in order for this to happen. I can turn my skills into cash (if only someone would publish my works--any suggestions?), I can join the website that pays people for taking surveys (if I'm even willing to give that information..." gulp"), I can deliver with Uber Eats and get paid up to 5 times a day, or maybe the same with DoorDash. I'm just spitballing here. Do you happen to have any ideas of how I can earn up to $500 this month (or more...I'm a dreamer)?

4) Read "Ella Enchanted" by Gail Carson Levine for my book club.

This one goes a little deeper into my "I absolutely love everything about reading" trait. I am part of a book club. You can see more about it here. Right now, we are trying to read all the books suggested by our members (if you happen to have a suggestion for us, yourself, please don't be shy), and we are on this book next. Our member, and my sister, Bree suggested it. I remember first reading this book when I was 9 or 10 (or somewhere around that age) but I am happy to be reading it again at a much older age. Re-reading an old book is like visiting an old friend, in my eyes, and who knows? I might spot things in the story that I hadn't before. Here is a synopsis of this retelling of Cinderella-At birth, young Ella was given a thoughtless gift of obedience. 😖 Ella must obey any order that she is given, no matter if it happens to be a good command or even a bad one. It might be as silly as hopping on one foot all day or perhaps the vile one of chopping off her own head! Though this quality seems unchangeable, strong-willed Ella refuses to give to it, without fighting a little for freedom on her own. She quests, venturing to demolish this curse. She encounters ogres, giants, wicked stepsisters, fairy godmothers, and handsome princes in her own resolution to break this curse and somehow live happily ever after. I think this story can be compared to our current day, stay with me, with how governing powers may try to steal our agency in some way sometimes, yet if we steadfastly stand up for ourselves, we find that a happy life is indeed possible. 

5) Plan your dream vacation.

Wowza. I do live a busy life, nevertheless, it is a good one. At least I am not sitting around waiting until I die, and thornbushes still have roses. Everything bad has something good. I don't have as much money as I would like for my surety, but at least I still have some (and a roof over my head and food on my table). I don't have as many books as I like (I never will, I know this), but at least I have a library card and a kindle. I don't have it all, but at least I have dreams. I am going to get married to the man of my dreams in June (next month!) (34 days exactly, but who's counting? 😉)and I want to be as prepared for that joy as possible. I'm alright to cross the street as long as you hold my hand. Dreams sustain me, in other words. Dreams coming true, I greatly anticipate. As far as a dream vacation goes, Michael is taking me to a place in Florida on our honeymoon to a hotel placed close to the bay. (Apparently, according to him, everywhere in Florida is close to the ocean. I'm still a beginner...) He was born and raised in a town in Florida, so I'm somewhat glad to be a beginner in this aspect of my life. 🌞💗 It is okay to dream what you are able, but it is also okay if you are shown what you dreamed, that you didn't even know that you dreamt about. With me? Then, you can make prospective goals.