There is Always a Bright Side

 I believe that this life was not made to be easy, and isn't for anyone. I know that that that sure does not have a positive side sometimes, but I believe and have optimism in the idea that it is that way for everyone. Whether it be a serious injury that someone is enduring, an essay that someone is stumped on that could hold the key to the other side of their life, or just a down day, life sure can seem bad or even miserable. It is easy to trip or fall down for a day, or the rest of one's life, but they don't have to. I know that one may live a life that is putrid, negative, and not good, but they may hold optimism on that ideal too. I have a foundation in the idea of being optimistic. I believe that a life that is terrible, can be terrific too, for anyone.

December 6, 2008, three sisters' lives changed forever. They were on their way to Kohl's as if it were any other normal winter day. They were going to the store, and then to their older brother's basketball game, like any odd or ordinary Friday. The sun was beautiful, doing its duty, melting the snow. Spring was coming, they knew. They were optimistic in their life. The two younger sisters, who were 10 and 11, always arguing over who would get the front seat of the car, next to their older, 16-year-old sister, because they swore they were older than they actually were. It was the 11-year-old's turn. The sun was perfect during that one simple turn that turned everything, way too quick. The oldest sister was blinded by the sun's glare and didn't spot another car that was making the turn with them. Crash. The green Grand Am collapsed over the 11-year-old, knocking both her and the driver out, making them both appear dead, at least what you could see of them. The youngest sister started hyperventilating immediately. She didn't know what to do. Luckily, the angels were watching all three of them that day, as the person who saw the unlucky situation called 911, and they all lived. The two oldest suffered from some brain damage, the middle daughter who sat right where they got hit is still recovering. They all survived, and are getting better each day. 

I was that middle daughter, who wished she was older than she was. That day, my life changed forever. A car ran over me, but the angels were watching over me that day. I didn't break a single bone, amazingly. None of my sisters did. All of us weren't held back a single year in school, even though we spent a fair amount of time in the hospital. I was in a medication-induced coma, and couldn't do much. When I woke up, I had to relearn to do almost everything again. I even had to change the hand that I grew up writing with, my right hand to my left hand. Everything changed from right to left side, and my right side is still recovering, and getting used to the small or large moves it used to make every day. I have every reason in the world to give up, but even now, though the years have been long and are only getting longer, I don't. I am optimistic (or at least I am trying to be). 

I would be lying if I said this injury, plus all the treatments I have had, didn't make me look different. They did in more ways than they have made me gain a limp that had been awfully hard to recover from. My right arm went through a Greens Transfer, where they moved around some things in my body, to make it easier for me to move my right thumb and wrist. That treatment left my arm with a few scars, that were only fun to show my friends and classmates for a time. The TBI that I received even made it hard to smile straight for a while. The left side of my mouth was always just a little further up when I try. That can be a burden at times, because of the way it makes me look, but I try to be optimistic. At least I can still smile. 

The car accident greatly affected things like sports that I could play. I couldn't run anymore with my limp, or do anything with the ball with my right hand, or foot. I could do barely anything extreme without injuring my right side. I never was really that athletic, even before the accident, but you don't know how much you appreciate something until it is taken away. The car accident tried to knock me down, but there was no way that I was staying there. Instead, I did a new sport. I learned how to ride horses at Hearts&Horses Therapeutic Riding Center. The idea was that if I learned how to control the horse, I could learn how to control my body again. Indeed, it helped, especially in how the different horses had different mindsets; some were loyal and obedient, while others were stubborn and a real case. Even that helped me, in that I was reminded that every person was different too. Everyone was different, including me, and that wasn't a bad thing. Nothing in life is bad unless you make it so. 

"You can't progress any further. It is pretty likely that this will be as far as you will go." Though I love them and have a great deal to be thankful for, I hate it when my doctors or therapists tell me this. I learned quickly (after a few years) that they can say this if they want to, but it is up to me to decide whether or not to believe them. I can believe what they may say about my physical limitations or abilities, or I can believe in myself. (Just ask my wonderful current therapist, I do a stretch for longer than I am supposed to, because they are comfortable to me, or make me feel normal (which is a different type of tightness...for another day).) ("Put your arm down, Brooke! We are done with that one.") Even my past therapist that I used to smirk at (on purpose) knew what they were in for when they told me that I couldn't do much more and my glance made the response, "Just watch me." Look out world! Here I come, with a fully functioning body once more. No matter how they may try, no one can sputter out my optimism. 

And so, I joyfully write. Nothing can keep me down. No matter if anyone or anything changes my life unexpectantly, you take away a certain sport I can play. Try to hold me back with words, thinking that is enough. I will always come back for more. I am optimistic about everything. No one can take the world from me, there is always something else. Just look at your trials from a different angle, and regret nothing. 

Even you can't keep me down. The world has tried plenty of times before, none of the attempts were successful. 

What brings me closer to God?

 I am in a fairly serious study of prayer and how we each call upon our God for help, comfort, aid, and thanks. I have had a moderately hard week this week, so I needed this. This post is for anyone like me, struggling too much, need help, or perhaps not. This is for you.

Overview

Each of us is a child of God. He loves us and is all-knowing. Though there is this, He also would like for us to communicate them through prayer. We should pray to Him, and only Him. His Son, the Lord Jesus Christ commanded, 

"Ye must always pray unto the Father in my name." (3 Nephi 18: 19) 

As this habit of approaching God in prayer is made, we will come to know Him more personally and draw nearer unto Him. Our desires will even become more like His. We will be able to make secure for ourselves other blessings that He will be ready to give, we need only ask in faith.

Principles of Prayer

Our God is always ready to answer the desires of our prayers. The power of them though depends on us. As we strive to make daily prayer a part, or habit, is each of our lives, we should each remember this counsel:

Add meaning to prayer. Only you can do this. In the Book of Mormon, the prophet Mormon warned that if anyone "shall pray and not with real intent of the heart...it shall profiteth him nothing for God receiveth none such" (Moroni 7: 9).

To make our prayers have more meaning, we must pray with fair sincerity and "with all the energy of heart" (Moroni 7: 48).

We must take care, and not hold any "vair repetitions" while in the midst of prayer (see Matthew 6:7).

We should use language that shows love, closeness, respect, and reverence. The duty of this principle will vary, according to which language you may apply to (or to with it...) Let me illustrate, if we pray in English (my language), we should use the pronouns of the scripture whenever we address God--Thee, Thine, Thou, and Thy, rather than the more commonly heard pronouns of you, yours, and your (are you with me still?). No matter if you speak a different language than I do, the principle remains the same: When praying, one should use the words that appropriately convey a loving, worshipful relation with our Father in Heaven.

No matter how many wants, desires, or even needs come to one's heart while the converse with God, one should always give thanks to God. We should

"live is thanksgiving daily, for the many mercies and blessings which we doth bestow upon (us)" (Alma 34: 38).

As we each take the time to remember all the blessings which God has bestowed upon us, we will recognize that it really is two-fold (or three-fold, or what have you). No matter what, we should express our thanks for that to Him.

Seek God's guidance and strength in all that we do. Just like Alma counseled to his son, Helaman on day:

"Cry unto God for all thy support; yea, let all thy doings be unto the Lord, and whithersoever thou goest let it be in the Lord; yea, let all thy thought be directed unto the Lord; yea, let all the affections be placed upon the Lord forever. Counsel with the Lord in all thy doings, and he will direct thee for good; yea, when thou liest down at night lie down unto the Lord, that he may watch over you in your sleep; and when thou risest in the morning let thy heart be full of thanks unto God; and if ye do these things ye shall be lifted up at the last day" (Alma 37: 36-37; see also Alma 34: 17-26).

Don't pray selfishly. Remember the care and mercy on others while you pray too. All should offer their prayers

"for (our) welfare, and also for the welfare of those who are around (us)" (Alma 34: 27).

We should ask for Heavenly Father's love and comfort to come to others in need, not solely our own burdens. 

Seek the guidance of the Spirit so that you may know precisely who to include in each of your prayers. The Holy Ghost is able to teach us to pray and guide in the things that we say alone (see Romans 8: 26, 2 Nephi 32: 8, 3 Nephi 19: 9, 24). He can aid us in praying

"according to the will of God" (Doctrine&Covenants 46: 30).

When a request is made through the holy order of prayer, that is not all that is needed. You must do all that you can to assist in it being granted. God expects more from all beside a humble question. When we each have an important decision to make, He often requires that we "study it out in our mind" before He gives us an answer (see Doctrine&Covenants 9: 7-8). Our personal prayers for that guidance will only be effective as far as our efforts to be receptive to the whisperings of the Holy Spirit. Our prayers for our own personal welfare plus the welfare of others will be in vain if we

"turn away the needy, and the naked, and visit not the sick and afflicted, and impart of your substance, if ye have, to those who stand in need." (Alma 34: 28).

If a difficult task is before us, our God and Heavenly Father is pleased when we fall to our knees and ask for help before getting up on our feet to work. He will aid us in each of our righteous pursuits, but He will seldom do something for us if we can do it ourselves.

Personal Prayer

In His Sermon on the Mount, Jesus Christ guided,

"Enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut the door, pray to the Father which is in secret; and thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly" (Matthew 6: 6).

Personal, private prayer is a highly essential and necessary part of spiritual development. 

For starters (and enders), one should find a place free from distractions and kneel in humility and commune with our Heavenly Father every morning and night. Although sometimes there is a need to pray silently, we should make a conscious effort at times to pray vocally (see Doctrine&Covenants 19: 28; 20: 51).

Prayer is a two-way communication. As we finish up our prayers, we should each make time to pause and listen for an answer. At times, our answers from God will come while we are on our knees, intended to counsel, comfort, or guide.

We should never ever give into the idea that it is even possible to become unworthy to pray. This idea is a temptation from Satan, who wants to convince us that we must not, or can not pray (see 2 Nephi 32: 8). If we are discouraged by this feeling ever, it just means that we need to pray harder. Pray until we feel like praying.

The Savior commanded,

"Pray always, that ye may come off conqueror; yea, that ye may conquer Satan, and that you may escape the hands of the servants of Satan that do uphold his work" (Doctrine&Covenants 10: 5).

Even though we cannot be continuously on our knees, always offering a personal prayer, we can still draw up our hearts to God continually. Every day, we may have a feeling of continual love for Heavenly Father and His Son, Jesus Christ. We may silently express the gratitude we hold to Heavenly Father and ask Him for strength. In times with constant temptation or actual physical danger, we can mutely ask for His help. He will always help the faithful. 

Family Prayer

Also, with His commandment to us to pray in private, the Savior exhorted us to pray with our families. 

"Pray is your families unto the Father, always in my name, that your wives and your children may be blessed" (3 Nephi 18: 21).

We should each make family prayer a repeated habit in a family's life. Every morning and evening, we should all kneel together in humility, giving each family member a consistent chance to pray and uniting in the present gratitude for the blessings which Heavenly Father has given us. There should also be a unity of faith to ask graciously for the blessings which we need and the humble prayer for others.

By regular family prayer, the family members will each draw nearer to God and each other. Children will learn to communicate with their Father in Heaven. Better preparation to serve others and withstand temptation will come. The home will become a place of spiritual strength or rather, a refuge from the evil influences present in the world/

Public Prayer

At times, we each may be asked to make a public prayer in a place like a Church meeting or class. When one is asked this, I implore them to remember that they are communicating with Heavenly Father (not giving a public sermon). The last thing that should be worried about in this case is what others may think of what you may say. Instead, offer a simple, heartfelt prayer by the guidance and power of the Spirit.

Receiving Answers to Prayer

The Savior counseled,

"Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you; for every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened" (Matthew 7: 7-8).

To the Nephites, He said,

"Whatsoever ye shall ask the Father in my name, which is right, believing that ye shall receive, behold it shall be given unto you" (3 Nephi 18: 20)

Heavenly Father does in fact hear each of our prayers. He may not always answer as we would expect or prefer, but He does answer--in His own time plus according to His own will. He knows what is best for us (despite what we may think). Sometimes he answers no, even when our prayers, or rather petitions are sincere.

Prayers are answered in a multitude of ways, often through the still, small voice of the Holy Ghost. They may even come through the kind acts of others around us. But they do come. As we continue drawing nearer to God through the power of prayer, we will each recognize His merciful and wise answers to our pleading question (call it what you want, I call it pleading). We will find indeed through time that He is our "refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble" (Psalm 46: 1).

https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/manual/gospel-topics/prayer?lang=eng 

What brings me closer to God?

-Scriptures

-Rest

-The Sabbath

-Friends

-Family

-Michael 💓

-Education

-Lack of overthinking

-New beginnings

-Goals

-Easter

-Sacrament

-Baptism

-Agency

-Self-Control

-Thankfulness

-Redemption

-Christ

-Time

-Prophets, seers, revelators

-Pondering

-Responsibility

-Love

-Everything! 

Any of my readers out there have anything to add to my list or any comment at all? I would love to hear it!

Why do I need this?

This year was especially hard, there is no doubting that. Whether it was the lack of a job for the sake of a shutdown, you had nowhere to go (same reason), or perhaps you actually suffered from the COVID-19 disease or you knew someone that did (my heart goes out to you if that is/was the case). Sometimes life knocks you down or keeps knocking you down, but you must never fail to get back up again (what is that Batman quote again?). Personally, this year taught me many good and important lessons, such as the one in goal-setting which I would like to highlight at this moment. Maybe it is just the way that my mind works, but I would like this entry to be a final huzzah for the sparkling (whether that is annoying or not for you) year of 2020. It is one of the positive, good things that I learned, personally. (What are some examples of what you learned, or were taught in the bustling year of 2020? I'm always up for learning new things with which to improve myself.

1) Create at least one handmade gift (maybe for yourself!). -This one is a bit far-reaching for me, but I am not scared...maybe a little, but I refuse to let that simple truth stop me. Let me explain, close to ten years ago, I was in a car accident (that ironically took place in the month of December-not that that is anything which I am able to smile upon!), and that said accident damaged my brain, or in other words, gave me a TBI. In said TBI I was given a lot of gifts that year that I never ever would or could ask for...like ever. Never ever ever. (Don't ever wish for something when you have no idea just what you happen to be wishing for (just an extra thought)) Let me paint you a picture of what precisely I mean if you will. Before that fateful day that I sat at the point of impact in a car accident, I used to dream big (at least bigger than I do now)-then...BAM! CRASH! Everything changed. Not that I am trying to count all the things in my life which people should feel sorry for me for (in fact, please don't), its just that anybody will scarcely understand the reasoning behind this goal unless I tell them the whole story (are you with me still, Sherlock?). Before that drastic day that that horrible, unfair accident occurred (gee, it sure is hard to end on a light note once I get started...), I was quite the crafty little wizard (or witch...), in fact, I knitted several members of my family little hats and/or scarves because it was fun. Now, don't misunderstand. Yes, I did in fact knit, just not with needles, it was with a Knifty Knitter II (I didn't even have the first one) that I received either because I made the most sales at a school fundraiser, or maybe I got it for Christmas, or perhaps I just begged my mother and I was successful...I don't know honestly (remember this, I don't have the best memory 😜) (Also, the weird thing about it is I think it was specifically built for people like handicapped me, but everything is harder for handicapped me.) (As one of my high school English teachers told the class often, "Life sucks, then you die.") I had a point...though knitting is a bit more difficult for one like me, that doesn't mean that I back down from a challenge ever. In my years since the car accident, I have knit (is it knit or knitted?) myself a fuzzy blue scarf and one of my nieces's a cute, pink hat (hi, Paige and family!), like I said, I don't back down from a challenge (even if it is a Rib Knit Scarf...). Not scared!

2) Send Christmas cards. -As you probably know by now, I do love sending out cards in an old-fashioned way, and not only to my brothers when they were on their mission to Madagascar or Scotland/Ireland (or maybe you happened to be one of my friends that received postage while you were on your mission to some other location). In fact, I have created some friends out of writing them notes using paper and ink before sticking them in a mailbox with the flag placed up. It's time to admit it-I love talking to people! I think that is actually the real reason why I started a blog...so here are some Christmasy thoughts to help brighten you day, if I may...

You're super nice. Want to know how I know? Guy in a big, red suit told me.

You know those commercials where the present is a brand new car with a big, red bow? Yeah, we're not doing that. (Only something arguably better in these thoughts!)

Home is where the Christmas cookies and presents are!

The 12 Days of Christmas guy really had a thing with birds, huh? Let's hope you don't know anyone crazy enough to give you 23 birds this holiday season. 🐦

Nobody loves Christmas more than me, and I love you even more than Christmas...or at least it's close. 😉

...or I will accept humming, at the very least (if you happen to be like me "gulp").

3) Look at/Make money plans for 2021. -Maybe I get too antsy about my cash and how much I have...but the way that I see it, you can either be drowning in debt or chilling in the sunny surf if you make, and keep to your money plans. My money plans of yesteryear, and all the years before that, used to be very simple. They were mostly "let somebody else buy it" or "don't ever want anything ever" but seeing as my first time living away from home was recent, while I took on-campus schooling this year, I found that those old hats don't always work with the modern-day apps like Venmo, or kindness (have you heard of it?) creating a flow of cash no matter what, and it isn't always people sending you money, sometimes it is the other way around, which is why I need to have better money plans for the year of 2021 to make the world go round. (I don't care what you have heard, but money does make the world go round, sadly.) (It's a sad fact of life, that I try not to look on too much...how am I doing?) There is a pattern that I plan to follow to help me in my money plans for the new year. First, I plan to record my expenses, not forgetting anything (even if it is the ice cream, or say, hot chocolate that I really needed after a long day at work. I pass the ice cream shop every day traveling to and from work...not my fault.). Next, I need to practice or pay more attention to how I am budgeting my cash. I learned the science of it years ago but could use the reminder.  Personally, I think we all could use the reminder in ordeals like this one, whether we happen to be one of the people like me who has an unlucky memory or not. Thirdly, I plan to cut my expenses. All in all, I plan to become better at asking myself if I really do need an item before honestly answering. I say this as I am sitting in socks that I bought yesterday that I didn't need...my socks of shame. Next, I need to set savings goals and stick better to them. I need short-term (1-3 years) and long term (4+ years), I also need to not give up with just one try (but I feel I am already wearing the duns cap with that one). Lastly, (and I personally think that this segment just might be the best of them all...either that or I really love watching cash grow-Who doesn't?) I need to learn how to make saving automatic. This has had its good and bad days. I remember after I received my very first paycheck, I went right over to the store and bought a big journal (right after paying my tithing), since then I have learned that once you spend money, there is no way of getting it back (in my defense, I was 11 years old when I bought the journal...that is still drifting, not completely filled, in the back of my closet). In other words, when you receive money SAVE SAVE SAVE! You never know how much more you are going to get.

 

4) Film a video for YouTube. -This is in no way discrediting the fact that I have horrible stage fright because I still do and will most likely forever. Here are my thoughts though, I think that YouTube videos create more of a positive boost for those of us out there with this stage fright issue, because if I'm being honest, it isn't the performing that frightens me (in all likelihood, I practiced it more than a million times and could perform it blind-folded...in fact, I would rather do that, because the thing that really gets me on edge is the cavernous auditorium). YouTube, there is no cavernous auditorium, at least in my case, there is only a chance to make a really cool video. No pressure...or rather, low pressure. Just don't let me think about it too much. I am actually doing this to participate in the #LightTheWorld challenge that my church is doing this Christmas, which is why I am going to post the link to the video here, Facebook, and Instagram once it is complete. No fear. I just want to remind you all what (or rather who) Christmas is truly about. (Please come again, I need an audience.) (Wow, That was the confidence boost that I needed.) Thinking about this, not to say that I have any future in the musical industry (I'm not even sure if the video that I will post will apply to music, I just know that it will be all about Christ, the One which we are truly celebrating as our Messiah and Redeemer on the 25th), artists like Lindsey Stirling and Justin Bieber first got their initial start on YouTube (though they perform vastly different types of music). You don't know unless you try. I'm ready...or at least I plan to be in a few days. Please come again by the end of the week/month. I want to reach out to as many people as I can, no matter how nervous I am. (I know.) 

5) Instacart for someone high-risk. -First, let me explain if you were like me when you first heard of the prospect of this goal (What is Instacart? Huh?). Instacart happens to be a grocery delivery service intended for people who are in a high-risk situation. After hearing that, I couldn't keep myself from downloading this particular app. There is always someone out there that has it worse than you, I don't care how bad you have it. If times are the worst for you too (as it currently is for me), service and charity are sure medications that can be applied. They can help us to find the peace within, in other words (I apologize if this is hitting any sensitive areas with any of you). I truthfully to try at helping anyone out whenever I can, but I also happen to know that I, or rather, we can always do better. (Don't.) This idea of service should be enough to present the idea to one and all, but just in case not, after you complete your shopping for someone else, you will be recompensed (I think even more than is necessary...though I am not sure) (I need to research this more). 

There is my December or my final month of the year goals. What do you think? What are your goals? How has your mind progressed in the year 2020? Are you really looking forward to any intended second chances that will come in the next year? Why? Why do you need this? (Want me to keep going?...I've got plenty. 😋)

Thankful for Second Chances

Hello November! There are a lot of spread thoughts about this month, or at least I know that I have them personally.  It may be said, or seen as the clock on the hall (how much longer until Christmas again? You have your reasons, I have mine.) (how much longer is the world, or at least what seems like it, going to be stuck in quarantine?), it may be seen as just another month, or it may be seen as a time to be especially grateful for some things (seeing Turkey Day and all). I for one, prefer the grateful way of looking at this 11th month of the year. I am thankful for second chances (or third, or the millionth, or what have you?). As I was reading my scriptures this morning, Mormon 8:1-22, I was struck soundly by some of the things that I read. I am looking particularly at the examples that Mormon and Moroni left for us this week in the Book of Mormon. They both had to deal with being alone in a wicked world. Even though things seemed hopeless, Moroni found a sound hope in his testimony of the Savior and also in his knowledge that "the eternal purposes of the Lord shall roll on" (Mormon 8: 22). These two examples are an inspiration to me, because now that we do have his words, and the Lord's mission is rolling forth, partially because Mormon and Moroni stayed true to their mission, plus duty, even when they were alone. That is why I am thankful for second chances, and I set goals like these ones (at least in part). 

1) Learn to make one thing you've never made before, and share it with the people you love. First, I would like to clarify the inserted picture. It is trauma when you bite into a chocolate chip cookie and it's oatmeal raisin, except if it happens to be one of my grandma Gardner's oatmeal raisin cookies (made with love). Seriously, they are the best! This goal is especially deep. I plan to make Swedish ginger snaps today, as part of what was intended to be a family home evening activity, and to honor the fact that my grandma Whittle is half-Swedish. I love finding out things about my heritage like this. I have even been told that I look Swedish before (just so there is no misunderstanding, this is not the first time that I have heard of this heritage, true blood (not vampire) fact). I have always enjoyed looking into my heritage and the stories that came before me. For that reason, the ginger snaps aren't going to be the only thing I make, and Swedish food isn't going to be the only country that I explore the culinary items of either. I am planning to make some Danish, Scottish, or even English dishes this month (in case you didn't know--my last name, Gardner, happens to be English). I think this goal honors how much I love cooking, and exploring the culinary arts even more (plus, you know, heritage). I want to know more than my father saying that his grandma Alda made the very best lemon meringue pie. I want to actually make the dish, or something similar to it. 

2) Correspond with pen pals. I have always enjoyed some types of writing. (Help me! I am weak.) I like to-no love to write stories, poetry, blog posts, and letters to certain people. Now I don't mean the modern-day, cheap, email-letters (though I loved receiving those from my older brothers while they were on their missions to Madagascar, Scotland/Ireland...apparently it takes a longer time for pencil and pad letters to make it oversea, or even to a different state (my dad served in Chicago, Illinois) (I don't judge. Honest.), I mean the pen, envelope, mailbox, literal delivery letters (although I admit that since I am left-handed, my handwriting isn't the easiest thing to read at times, it all had my arm swept across it). Pen pals are a huge suggestion of mine. I think that everyone could use a friend sometimes, especially at a time in which it might be hard to receive a friend, or harder than usual, and a pen pal is a good way to start. In fact, in a letter project that I participated in some time ago, I am still connected to them through the letters that we write each other. They are the reason that I create goals like these, because they are my pen pals. I don't claim everything, because initially, we all were strangers, but I'm just saying, a letter can be a good start to a beautiful friendship, or maybe...love, how would you like another letter from me?

3) Find and use healthy coping methods. In case you don't know me that well, anything involving books (like in the above picture), is a coping method that I commonly use all the time. I suggest this, or any personal coping method to all, especially now, seeing that it is Election Day when I am writing this. Take, for one, the previous examples which I used of Mormon and Moroni (if you haven't read the Book of Mormon, I very strongly suggest it). They were alone in their beliefs but held an unfailing, sustainable hope that their words might help those of future generations, and I know that they help me. Sometimes, I feel all alone in my opinions and viewpoints but am reminded that I am not, especially on days such as election day. Though there tends to be a ton of conflict, at least I know that is a fact with this election, there is always hope, and always more than one person like you, especially in the democracy of America. (Vote! You don't know what it could change.) Take me in my political opinion for one, I know that both of my next-door neighbors are voting for a different candidate than I, but that doesn't mean in any way that I am less neighborly towards them. If you happen to have a similar problem, I suggest these coping methods--exercise, humor, spirituality, or reading. We all live in the same troublesome world anyway. 

 

4) Volunteer at multiple organizations. It could be said that this coincides with the first of my goals, but it doesn't! I like the way that the scripture in Matthew 25: 40 puts it, in the Bible, "And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me." I think it is fair to say that each of us lives in a time of change, great change, whether it be in reference to our current president, or the simple state of the world, I think that each of us has a hard time, at times. I want to help in any way that I can. It may not yet be morning, and we all said goodbye to that beautiful dusk ages ago, but there is always someone out there who has it worse than you. I say that in all humility. That is why I plan to spread my volunteer work over different organizations, whether it be the Loveland Public Library (the only warm place some people see, sadly), knitting winter clothes for little kids, or befriending someone new in my current ward that needs a friend, and I can tell. I hope I'm not saying too much to you all, when I say that we all can do something to serve someone, we need only look.

5) Learn how to use a camera. This one might be especially tricky...well, they all might be especially tricky, but this one certainly. Remember how I said that I was left-handed? I meant that I am a leftie in absolutely everything. My right arm, the right hand just hangs there, because it certainly wouldn't help if it ever tried to help, it would probably just ruin everything! Nevertheless, I am still setting this goal, because there just has to be hope for me yet. Whether it is either found in a special, make-shift camera or converting the photos that I take on my phone to photo paper, it just has to be possible. I know that I am not the first person with a problem like mine, nor the last. Weaknesses like this one from the car accident that I was in years ago are just a part of life (I used to be right-handed-can you believe it?). My grandpa Gardner has always been a big photo taker all my life, and I might be a little bit interested in the art of photography too, but I have to actually do it, the whole shebang to actually figure it out. I admit that I truthfully I have no idea how difficult and/or complex this is going to be for someone like me, but that is part of the fun! "Gulp."

6) Learn how to play seven songs on the piano-PRACTICE!-I mean sound waves! (To the Laman) I used to be awfully musical, at least before I was sitting at the point of impact in a car accident, all those years ago. I was at the top of my piano class (at least I like to imagine, I took solo lessons with a teacher, Judy Johnson, and my sister, Bree also taught me, now that I think of it), I sang really loud in my choir class, I even got the starring role in my fifth-grade musical/program, but everything can change in a second. Once I returned to school after returning from the hospital after my car accident I was a heck of a lot quieter (my therapist told me that the accident affected my lungs (talk about getting the wind knocked out of you) and by extension my voice box--they were all surprised that I could even follow a melody) (I went to voice lessons after the accident. Thank you, Jera!), never tried out for any solos, and I even laughed to mock myself once my mother asked me if I would like to return to piano lessons with Sister Johnson (she was a pianist in church, and her husband was one of my family's home teachers). Now, though I did that, nothing kept me away from the keyboard playing with the notes as I started to teach myself piano. Though I never claim to be a maestro on the ivories, I do now know completely how to read music and play it (or the one-handed melody), I just haven't done so in a while (haven't had Bree to tempt me with her piano-playing or Tara with her violin). I need to change that, so I set this goal.

What do you think of my November goals, that I definitely will need more than one shot at (hopefully, I will give myself that)? What are your goals? Everyone needs more than one shot at things like this, at least I believe. 

  

Café Topics

 Its that time of the month again. I notice new things periodically and this month I am noticing that my monthly posts like this one may be what a group of girlfriends (or boyfriends...) talk about in a place such as a café. (Maybe that is partially what sustained this habit...) Thinking out loud (or on a spree through a post) here, but perhaps if you have something pent up that you could use saying to or with a friend, please feel free. As far as I know even those early morning café conversations require the conversation to have at least two participants, and as you may know, I am all ears. Whether you happen to have a cup of coffee or tea with you, or perhaps a simple blueberry cinnamon scone, here are my October goals:

1) Do something that scares you--in a good way! Suggestions include riding a roller coaster, reading a Stephen King novel, and asking for a raise. Okay, okay, admittedly I may have bitten off more than I can chew here because of the little list that I made of all the different ways I tend on achieving this goal. Here is what I say to that, if you are going to dream, dream big! You aren't doing anyone any favors just sitting there doing nothing. The roller coaster perspective may be a bit too big since I don't know of any county fairs near my current home (though Rexburg had them often (let's just say that I'm not used to living in Colorado again)). There is an Elitch Gardens in Denver, but who lame would it be to visit the park for just a single scary roller coaster (like Mind Eraser you have to see it to truly know the terror that I am referencing)? I also have already visited my city's library to search for a terrifying read by some of the masters of frightening tales, such as Stephen King. The size of his novels was enough to make me shiver. He is an author that surely believes that if you are going to tell a story, tell a story and make it painstakingly long. I am a writer who spends her time dreaming up stories of my own myself, and though I plan to never venture into topics or genres like King myself, I respect his advice of the author always being their own worst critic and his sources of inspiration for some stories are inspirational. Like how Stephen King's book, "It" was started and told as a retelling/remix of the old folk tale, "The Three Billy Goats Gruff." Currently, I am working on a retelling of a classic tale myself. Though I plan and hardly have to try to avoid a King-like story myself, he still can be an inspiration to me as a young writer. As far as anything goes where my job is concerned, like asking for a raise (there is a reason why that is a potential October goal), I am a bit timid, but I have told one of my supervisors that I would gladly accept a promotion, because I know that I could handle it.

2) To be in bed 7 hours a night. I don't know if I am making this goal out of will-power, or maybe it is that I got a bad night's sleep last night. My eyes are dropping as I'm writing this-zzzzz...This goal is also causing me to feel a hint of dejavu. Have I made and attempted at this particular goal before? Well, if you don't succeed at a goal the first time, try and then try again. However many times is necessary for you to create the habit. Like I said before, I had a really bad night's sleep last night and I also have a piece of guidance if any of you out there tend to have this unhealthy issue too. If it is a sound that is keeping you awake on those long, greedy for sleep nights, don't throw the thin layer of a soft pillow over your head and expect that to solely solve the problem, because it won't. My personal suggestion would be that of ear plugs or perhaps prepare your mind for sleep more and perhaps read one more chapter of your book (although Stephen King isn't a suggested author for this activity. You want to eventually fall asleep, don't you?). Oh no, that introduces a whole new series of possible issues, or problems with falling asleep. What helps you in your common, or uncommon cases of apnea? Maybe they could work for me too. 

 

3) Get back into yoga. My personal reason for this particular goal, your guess is as good as mine. I have just been stressed for unexplainable reasons. I am not even in school this semester...maybe that is it. Maybe that is the reason why I am so stressed. That may not make any sense to you, but it makes sense to me. My mind likes to be busy, and remain busy. I have a job that does keep me busy, but where I work isn't open near as often since the COVID-19 pandemic which the world is currently going through. Just tell me when it is over. I know that the quarantine pace is intended to relax me, but it doesn't do that in the least. (How much time do you have?) I think that the way that government is choosing to deal with this is not intended to comfort any of us. Think about it. Do you personally think that this quarantine or this bad news, bad news, bad news pattern that we all are mercilessly falling into is helping you relax at all? (If it is could you please tell me how because I am always up for suggestions.) Aww...I wish I could be as young as my smiley nieces once more. 

4) Start a gratitude journal. I do admittedly already have one of these, although it also has admittedly been a great long time since I last wrote in here, or maybe my prompts have changed. When I was young, and always in the middle of a bad day, I found that I just needed to make a list of 20 things that I was thankful for and then I would start smiling again. Nowadays, with my much more educated mind (grumble grumble), I don't even need a journal, I just need a scratch of paper that I can scribble a little doodle on. It doesn't even have to be the happiest doodle, it can just be something to get me to focus on anything other than my seem-always constant troubles. I remember when I was early in this doodle phase I drew a picture of a boy that was always screaming (no, not Munich) because he could see everything, and that was not a good thing because along with all the good, he also saw all the bad. It made me realize how grateful I was for my own perspective, and always notice the sunshine squeezing it's way through the clouds. I may choose to focus on the clouds at times, but the sunshine is always there, offering to brighten my perspective, or viewpoint. 

5) Take a "me" day. Maybe I am being much too selfish with this one, but I invite others always. It isn't very much of a "me" day at all if I don't get the chance to spend it with friends. Whether we are just goofing around, laughing until I can't breath (possibly not every part of this goal is considered good on a wide spectrum), maybe a night together in a hotel room playing the games we used to play at parties as a tween, a spa day (maybe this one is an extension of goal #3), or anything random that we can think of. I think this need for some personal time was one of the reasons why I started a book club (I love books...so much that it can be considered a problem) (at least they aren't drugs!) with my friends Amber and Chris. Seeing the pandemic that we are currently in, we had to edit our rules too. Most of our meetings currently are online, through Zoom or Discord (I assume by Amber's recent suggestion). Speaking on this love of books, plus spending time with people, makes me wonder, how did you find this blog, reader? Was it through Blogger, or perhaps Instagram or Facebook, because on those mediums, I also post often about my book club, and the books we are all reading together? If you are like me and prefer actually meeting with people, ignoring the internet (seriously, how did you find out about my blog?), we also meet for snacks and movies as often as we can, ot just is more difficult in this particular time. It can't last forever, can it? Here I go again. 

6) 30-day squat challenge. As I hope that you know by now, I like to do whatever I can to remain moving. I walk with a little limp and it is pretty difficult to move the right side of my body at all (it is just for looks, I like to think) since my nervous system got injured near ten years ago as I was sitting at the point of impact in a car accident and received a Tramoutic Brain Injury (TBI) but since then I discovered how much will-power I have in that I will not give up on anything, period. I am near-always trying to improve myself and I recently discovered Jillian Michaels 30-day squat challenge to improve yourself and your abilities. Now, when Jillian Michael's was one of the trainers on "The Biggest Loser" helping people learn how to lose weight properly and healthily, it was probably my favorite TV show (how many years ago was that again?). Although, if I'm being honest, she wasn't my favorite trainer and I never was on her team (it was kind of like a sport, but I digress) but she still had a good heart in this, helping others learn how to live more healthy than they were previously so when I discovered this challenge that she supported, I thought, "sign me up!" We are all just trying to make a better self constantly, after all, I think. 

So, those are my October goals. What are your own? (Sorry, I can't help but be curious.) I don't care if you happen to be slurping up a cup of coffee or tea while you read this (or eating a chocolate chip scone, if you happen to be more like me), I am willing to hear it all. Or if you aren't doing anything with consuming drink or food, you may just be reading this to relax (wait...you do this to relax? We must have very different minds) I'm ready to hear anything. Do you plan on going to any haunted houses by the end of this month, seeing the holiday (if reading happens to be too scary for you), or maybe perhaps you will start your Christmas shopping early this month (smart, personally, I haven't even started knitting anything yet). I'm up for anything. 

Goodbye August, Hello September!

Now, though I fear it is a little bit late, I will say farewell to summer. It has been fun...well as fun as it could be for little me. The tans (or burns, while others are bronze after time in the sun, I am pink, or even worse at times--red) will fade but the memories will last forever. (Who knows? I may have written in my journal about you!) True, summer is all I want. Days relaxing on the beach (there are lakes in Idaho, true that they were freezing, but I did go for a little swim or rather float in my life jacket) are through. As we traverse into fall though (my personal favorite season--so many colors) I like to think of an attitude as Walt Whitman put it--"You are so much sunshine in every square inch." On's attitude should say it all. Now, I am not your regular Olaf when it comes to summer, and sun, and everything hot (look at the first parenthesis of this post if you need enlightenment), but I will definitely miss those carefree days of summer, or rather, those more carefree days of summer in the sun, next to the lake, shielding myself from the sun with shade, but I hope I can still make the world a better place by acting out or carrying through with my monthly goals. (You had to have at least some idea that this post would detail on those. It's September 1st for crying out loud!) (Happy birthday, Somer!)

1) Take yourself "back to school" by reading a book or an article about something entirely foreign to you and enjoy the process of learning something new: Admittedly, I went to school up here in Idaho all of this summer. It was online, but I still consider that school. (Don't argue with me on this.) But, I think that every day is a success if you learn something new in it, no matter if it is in your schooling hours or not. Take for one, my scripture study this morning, I tied together two verses of scripture and a talk that I was reading. I would have never done that if I didn't remain with this perspective in my study. (If you would like to know and read my attachment, and add some of your own (I encourage that!) here it is with Helaman 13, Alma 29:1-3, "Trust in God, then Go and Do" by President Henry B. Eyring (October 2010)) All in all, my goal is to not be afraid to learn something new, whether I am in school or not. Also, I don't know whether this applies or not, (I'm my own worst enemy) but I am reading a book that I haven't read before currently. Just give me a library card and I have more potential than just the world. 

                             

2) Bake something new: I do love to bake. Admittedly, I tried a new recipe only a few days ago (lemon cookies, they are still sitting on my counter. Any takers?) (I originally made them for a boy who I had gone on a date with recently (hi Mauro!) and had offered me some tea. Honestly, I don't drink tea, but I do eat tea cookies (I eat any type of cookie arguably). Although I tried this new recipe awfully recently--one of the last days of August, I think that was just to show myself that I could bake solo. Even though, I didn't quite have all the ingredients so I had to borrow some from my sister across the way (Hi Tara!) which proved to be of extensive benefit, because once I was finished, and the dough looked weird to me (I'm used to thick chocolate chip cookie dough...here is a forewarning to each of you early bakers out there, lemon cookie dough doesn't look anything like that, it's light, thin, and wispy, and there are no chocolate chips (I know, startling)), and she helped me get it ready for the oven in its own little cookie dough balls. Now, I could consider that my try at baking something new, but no. It showed me that I could bake, maybe with a little help since I'm a legitimate beginner but since I can cook, I will in September and hopefully with more extensive recipes than lemon cookies (or any type of cookie). Also, if I haven't said this already, I'm not sure that I can say it enough, thank you, Tara!

                                                                         

3) Walk at least 10k steps every other day: This one may be a bit far fetched for me. Okay, let me elaborate; I have a bad habit of falling on my face. (You might want to stop reading this part if you can't handle blood) (please tell me I'm at least starting to discover the talent of describing something with words) In summation, whether it is ice or just a misstep, I trip and fall more than expected and I usually break a bone in the process, whether it be teeth (those are bones--look it up!) or nose, the ground, walking specifically with my limp, have never really been my friends. Or maybe it is that I remember the bad times really well, like a speck of dirt on a white tablecloth or a tiny beam in the eye (maybe that isn't what was intended with that one...don't look it up) (not that I'm advising you not to read your Bible, because that would be opposing everything and I'm not that much of a rebel). In fact, just yesterday, I fell on my face (stop reading if you can't handle it). I luckily didn't break anything...I don't know if it is because my nose is already a tad askew from my last fall, followed by a trip to the ER, or what, but I didn't break any part of my fragile body. I did, however, earn a pretty big bruise and now my knee is black and blue and I had to spend the rest of my day in bed, catching my breath from the wind being knocked out of me and being sent to kingdom come. What was my goal again?

4) Reach out to someone: I hope that this one becomes a full pattern for my life or at least a more regular one. If anyone needs help I do. I need to stop thinking that! I'm already having feelings of Deja Vu with this one too, but I don't care. From my perception, I think this is a good goal to have every month, not just a finish line that you cross, and don't care about anymore. It is just a trophy at the top of your closet collecting dust. They say that bad habits die hard, I would like to add this tagline, good habits die hard too, don't let them die! For one, I have the habit of reading at least a chapter of some book or other right when I wake up. I feel this prepares me for the day, and helps wipe away all the morning grouch cobwebs and is a good habit, so I sustain it each and every day. Reaching out and helping someone is a good habit too, I believe. Just like it says in Matthew 7: 12-"Do unto others as you would have others do unto you," (I think that is the correct citation for this one, is it?)

                        

5) Go to bed at a reasonable time: Okay, it once again is confession time. I have almost always had trouble here. Whether it is too late or too early that I decide to rise, I've never been a pro at bedtime. (One more chapter! I wake up too early anyway!) (In fact, I am the first to arise from sleep near every morning in my dorm...unless Somer or Sierra have to go to work pretty early) I have felt like I have tried everything, that is except going to bed at a reasonable time. I partially have my nightly rituals to blame for this one. Take, for one, the bleek fact of last night where I finally went to sleep at midnight, possibly later. (I know it was later.) I have to read at least a chapter of my book to prepare my mind, plus dreams for sleep. I don't care if it happens to be a book full of very long, very exciting, I can't put it down chapters. Maybe I should learn to control myself better in this aspect (maybe...my books and I are something that you can't keep apart for very long). Then comes my second nightly habit, I like to write in my journal, and if I write in my journal, I am going to be up for a time more. Don't blame me! I want to be remembered, so I journal for someone in the far future could someday pick it up, and read it, and find out about me and my day. Journaling is also a good strategy for my memory, but enough about me.

                                                   

6) Stay offline one day per week: Please tell me if this is a weakness that we all share--the need to know. Whether it be educated and you, say wish to know what is happening currently in the political world, or whether it is vainer, or lazy and you want to know what your favorite superstar is doing or where your friend got the outfit they were wearing the other day (that they posted on Instagram), this is a weakness. Did you ever hear that old adage of too much of a good thing is a bad thing? That is true. For me, I try to not read any of my fictional, fantasy, make-believe, or whatever stories on Sunday since that is the Sabbath day, you know "day of rest" and the most I can do to give that day to God is to ignore the things or books that the world gives out. That sneaky snake though, slithering through the grass unnoticeably to me still finds away. The internet is poison. Why did poison have to be so sweet? So to be sure to take heed and avoid, I will try and distance myself from it. (Just not today.) (Oh no.)

  

Those are my September goals. What do you think of them? How much are you going to miss those lazy, hazy, crazy days of summer? This goal setting and stating strategy that I have, do you think that it is a good one, or should I write about something more...intense than that? As always, I am all ears.

                         

Right on Target

Now, reader, you may think that my swell habit of goal setting would've died because I am now at college (thank you for reading this, by the way), in the place that I believe I was designed to be. Now, though this whole attending school, or my further education at a college or institution (other than attending church and institute at the CSU institute building), I still believe that there are a few things which I would like to accomplish, and goal setting is a habit. And, what can I say? Habits, whether they be good or bad (hopefully good) take time and if you dedicate yourself to them, they are hard to break. Comparably, it took me years (or maybe it was days or weeks, but just felt much longer than that...it was a very long time ago) until I hit the target correctly during archery lessons in P.E. class, this is just to make sure that I am right on target (because certain things take time, and none of us are perfect) (that's right. I said it.) 

1. Make a habit of wearing higher SPF: When one first is told to think of the weather in Rexburg, Idaho (that is where I currently am), they do not immediately think of hot summer days and sweat. It does rain 9 out of the 12 months of the year here, and I landed in the three lucky months that they get of sun. It is a peculiar climate at times (trust me, when I arrived here a week ago, there was a hailstorm and right at this moment, it is a lovely day outside), but one gets used to it! My roommates, Somer and Sierra regularly spend a section of the day in their swimsuits, outside tanning. Though God has given me a great abundance of blessings, one of them isn't skin that can easily tan. (What is that skin called again? Please enlighten me if you know this.) And also, I should respect that the sun might have a different effect on me here but...I'm not a real big risk-taker (unless anyone dares to challenge me that I cannot read an entire book in a week. Bring it. What were we talking about again before my head was in the clouds.) Everyone has to start somewhere. I may be like an innocent, peaceful Hobbit traversing to Mordor, but at least that is somewhere (and who knows? I could have some Took in my bloodline.) (I do often tell people that though my mother was born and raised in southern California, I did not inherit her skin.)

2. Write a letter to my senior self: I don't know about you but in elementary school (I can't remember if it was in kindergarten or 5th grade...probably 5th grade because I think I was in the blue group in kindergarten (the lowest reading group--just give me a goal) (I always had the mindset that I have right now on goals) my class was given the assignment to write a letter to ourselves that they would send to us once we were a senior in high school. The letter included our current hopes and dreams (as they were when we wrote it) and our prospect for the future. The simple assignment of writing that letter was like a baton that kept me on target for the rest of my life. Though, when I was young, I didn't see myself receiving a brain injury in a car accident that put a little damper on my schooling life, but it is one of the things that taught me that no matter how many times life knocks you down, you can always get up and I still try to do that today. That is why, though I am a sophomore in college currently, I will write myself a letter to open when I am a senior. Though I may take some of the classes at a slower speed because of what happened in the car accident and the COVID-19 trial the world is currently going through and I have no idea when I will complete my education, I will still write it. I have to set the goal or see the racetrack before I can actually complete it. If writing a letter to myself is going to work, much like it did for my primary education self, so be it. 

                                                     

3. Pull an all-nighter: I admit that I am a little bit timid with this one. I am a firm believer in the phrase "early to bed, early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise" but if I am honest, laying it all out on the table here, I have never been very good at going to bed all that early, whether it is my book that keeps me up (just one more chapter...please!) or my friends and their giggles or probably the true criminal of a long movie (and I DON'T want to do my workout) that keeps me up, I have just never been all that good at going to sleep early. Although, in the morning, it is a different story. I am a naturally early riser. (I believe I get that from my mother.) I was always the one waking my father up to take me to my seminary classes before I had Tara to drive me there. I don't know if it is part of my gene code that makes me this way or rather, it could also be that I grew up in a room with two windows shielded with white blinds (what made me get a sleep mask recently...though it hardly ever stays on my eyes all night. I don't know what movements I make in my sleep.). I just have never been a very big fan of sleep (it's not you, it's me). Although, when my alarm went off this morning, I am proud to say that I rolled over, opened one eye, turned it off, before shutting my eye again. Maybe it is this college thing, but an all-nighter sounds like quite the challenge that I bafflingly find myself willing to stand up to. Bring it. 

4. Cook a meal: I mean an actual meal--and I won't allow myself ordering pizza that I heat up in the oven count! (Well, maybe...) So far, whenever I have needed a home-cooked meal, my angel of a sister, Tara has been there for me (hi Tara! Thank you!), but I decided that I must pay her back someday, somehow...if she is brave enough. Funny story: yesterday, I went to the grocery store, seeing that I was running low on some of my microwaveable products thus, I needed to pick up some more so I did (along with some twinkies because I don't always have the time to make myself a justifiable breakfast). I'm in college! It is one of those when in Rome, sort of things. Anyway, even in the store, I almost grabbed more than I needed because of this early morning, late night dream. I am learning how to live on my own, so if I am going to have to learn how to cook a meal someday, why not now? (I mean serious meal, spreading some jam on bread or throwing it in the toaster doesn't count.)

5. Join a tree-planting event: I don't even know if this one is a semi-realistic goal yet because I am not quite sure what the laws up here say about me planting something that could be there for hundreds of years. So I'll be sure to check on that...no matter how relaxed some claim the law is up here (what else is it going to be with a ton of college-aged Mormon kids? (What am I supposed to call us again?)). I have always been a supporter of more green earth in my days, and my children's days (if I'll even ever). Heck, one of my best friends in high-schools name was Aspen (not that that is a good notifier, it is more ironic). Though I claim to not be a complete hippie (at least I try), I do have Lorax-like support of the tree movement (not just because of that is a book by the lyrical genius of Dr. Seuss) (maybe no Shakespeare, but he is pretty darn well close) when I say with him, "A tree falls the way it leans, be careful which way you lean." I lean with the law on the go earthside in this particular case. (Though I fear I am more comparable with this little guy ("the cutest little guy ever") here.)

                                   

6.  Do a karaoke night: Ever since the car accident for me, I have been a little pile of nerves that would rather die instead of doing something like sing in front of people. I have participated in one karaoke night since then, but I was sure to sing a song that everyone knew and would be singing with me before I took my place on the stage in front of the microphone. Before the car accident, I didn't have any nerves at all. I always auditioned for the solos in my choir class, and even before that, I was the lead with the one solo song for my 5th-grade musical/graduation. (I don't even know who that girl was anymore, singing in front of people without having a problem about it...yikes.) Anyway, once I was in a car accident that some people said that my injury could've affected the vocal cords I have always been a little more timid and shy. If you don't believe me, know this, I did take some voice lessons right after the car accident because while some said that my singing ability was affected, there still were others that refused to believe that (I did take a choir class every year of middle school). The voice lesson recital, though my teacher never endlessly complimented me on some of my songs, I still did something that would assure that I forgot the recital (everyone said I had a bad memory anyway) and wouldn't have to go up on a stage, center stage, and perform in front of people. Maybe this goal is not such a good idea haha (shoot for the moon even if you miss you'll land among the stars). 

 

Am I crazy to be setting goals like this, even at this point in my life? With my fair skin (not always a good thing, at least I believe), mad writing abilities, sleeping genes (some of them still do exist), microwaving skills, I'm a little like the Onceler too, or my timid genes (also known as all my genes) (sorry Chris, you may have heard me singing along to the radio but in my defense, that wasn't on a stage).  What are your thoughts on these? Do you support that target that I plan to hit someday, or am I a bit crazy (aren't we all)? Is the target too unimaginably far? Please post your thoughts on Blogger, Facebook, Twitter, or wherever you will. I would love to hear them. 💛💛💛💛